Join The Quest For The Magical Sex Toilet In "Take Me To Ariake!" (COMPLETE 9/7)

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NOTE: Pages 125-127 are the only ones in the book I simply couldn’t bring myself to censor. You’ll see why - Heino would only dilute the effect. Keep in mind that they are NSFW.

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Page 124

Zeiss Manifold: I think the manga just gave up.
InkWeaver: okay so
InkWeaver: that girl just walked up
InkWeaver: and pulled out her dick?
Delcat: I think she actually just finally noticed the Inexplicable Background Penises.
Zeiss Manifold: We've got some otaku nonsense, someone screaming, and a giant cock out of nowhere ALL ON THE SAME PAGE
Zeiss Manifold: or maybe the cock is talking
InkWeaver: I have no idea what is going on here.
Delcat: "Please, can you tell me where the non-magical-sex toilet is? Gotta drain the me."
Zeiss Manifold: What is "Patorashu Odou" Japanese for anyway
Zeiss Manifold: LET'S FIND OUT

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Page 125

Zeiss Manifold: okay, NOW it's given up
Zeiss Manifold: TETSUOOOOOO
Delcat: Boy howdy he really put some time into that shading. That's nice. It gives me something that isn't confusing and terrible to pay attention to.
InkWeaver: Well.
InkWeaver: It's...
InkWeaver: artistic?
InkWeaver: well-rendered?
InkWeaver: Um?
InkWeaver: Er?
Zeiss Manifold: Look at that poor robot.
Zeiss Manifold: LOOK AT HIM
InkWeaver: oh my god
InkWeaver: I had to look again
InkWeaver: I didn't see him initially
Zeiss Manifold: hey guys they're a gelatinous mass now
InkWeaver: HE DOESN'T WANT YOU FILTHY HUMANS STOP MOLESTING HIM

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Page 126

Zeiss Manifold: "ONE OF US. ONE OF US. ONE OF US."
Delcat: ...I don't THINK I dropped acid before I signed on.
Zeiss Manifold: no we're just diving into Ono's subconscious
Delcat: Did the blonde chick wet herself in the lower-right panel?
Zeiss Manifold: that girl seems to have no problem talking despite the large penis in her mouth
Zeiss Manifold: literally
Zeiss Manifold: ^ I hope not. This manga is already terrible enough without a pee fetish
Delcat: Yeah, but the alternative is that she's getting turned on, so we're fucked either way, aren't we?
InkWeaver: I don't think she wet herself
InkWeaver: I think she's getting turned on
InkWeaver: because Ono likes fluids, like any upstanding Japanese man
Zeiss Manifold: Knowing Ono, it's probably both

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Page 127

Delcat: Yeah, I think that piece of dialogue is creepier than the Tetsuo sex blob, really.
Zeiss Manifold: "THESE ARE MY CUM DUMPS. THEY FALL UNDER MY PROVINANCE. YOU WILL UNHAND THEM, EVILDOER."
InkWeaver: NO ONE SHALL TRESPASS UPON MY CUM DUMPS
Zeiss Manifold: MY CUM DUMPS. NOT YOURS
InkWeaver: brb
Zeiss Manifold: she's being awfully apologetic for a blob monster
Delcat: Hm...this scene came right the fuck outta nowhere, presumably has little to no bearing whatsoever on the plot, is way over the top in terms of ridiculousness (even in the context of the manga), and now that it's happened, I get the feeling that no one will ever speak of it again. Inky, care to do the honors?
Zeiss Manifold: she's gone at the moment but I can do them if you wish
Delcat: Please do.
InkWeaver: hold on guys my friend just got here, he's installing some crap on my computer.
Zeiss Manifold: BIG-LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT
Delcat: Ah, it never gets old.

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Page 128

Zeiss Manifold: No wonder they're so preoccupied with sex; they're bored immortals.
InkWeaver: How can you tell?
Zeiss Manifold: it's the "27564th" event
Zeiss Manifold: assuming that this occurs biannually, which I think Comiket does
Zeiss Manifold: then this has been going on for millenia
Zeiss Manifold: and everyone is frozen in time
Delcat: This is loading really, really slowly, but apparently the toilet seats like twelve people?
InkWeaver: I've just assumed that these folks are aliens
InkWeaver: like in The Penis of Justice
InkWeaver: because there's no human way they can make sounds like that
Delcat: In English AND katakana.
Zeiss Manifold: i think it's more like there are 12 toilets and they don't know which is the right one
Zeiss Manifold: Delcat, would it be possible for you to translate the sound effects for us?
Delcat: What, there isn't a sign?
Delcat: "YES, THIS IS THE MAGICAL SEX TOILET RIGHT HERE"
Zeiss Manifold: What would be like the little stick figure sign for "Magical Sex Toilet"?
InkWeaver: Oh dear.
InkWeaver: I'm sure it would be disgusting to the eye
InkWeaver: as if its very phrase, no matter what language, radiates a putrescence
Zeiss Manifold: I was thinking it would just be a simple toilet surrounded by sunrays
Zeiss Manifold: but hey

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Page 129

Delcat: I don't speak moonrunes. I'm assuming it's something like ARRRUGGHUGHUHU.
Zeiss Manifold: HLARGLBLARGLBLARGL
Zeiss Manifold: THEY'RE FUCKING IN A TOILET
Zeiss Manifold: HOW ROMANTIC
InkWeaver: Oh
InkWeaver: sorry you misunderstood me
InkWeaver: when my penis popped out to greet you so enthusiastically
InkWeaver: here let me just manhandle it back under my coat
Zeiss Manifold: "It's just his way of saying 'I like you!'"
Delcat: I'm reminded of the guy from Sexy Losers whose cock could talk and constantly got him beaten up.
InkWeaver: omg I love that comic, jsyk
Zeiss Manifold: i think everybody likes that comic
Delcat: This whole thing has gotten so weird and silly I'm not sure it ISN'T Sexy Losers.
Zeiss Manifold: it could teach Ono a thing or two
InkWeaver: No. SexyLosers is funny.
Delcat: True.
Delcat: I'm surprised the sex isn't spilling into the hall. It's your last chance to try a whacked-out creepy legend, people, what's wrong with you?
Zeiss Manifold: Maybe they're in the wrong restroom hall.
InkWeaver: to be sexylosers, needsmoarnecrophilia
Delcat: NO, INKY. NO.
InkWeaver: WAT
Delcat: THAT IS THE LAST THING THIS COMIC NEEDS.
InkWeaver: WHAT
InkWeaver: THAT IS THE FIRST THING THIS COMIC NEEDS
Zeiss Manifold: AS IF THE PEE FETISH WASN'T ENOUGH
InkWeaver: AT LEAST THEN IT WOULD BE SO ABSURD IT WAS AMUSING
InkWeaver: CAN YOU IMAGINE ONO AND NECROPHILIA?
InkWeaver: HILARITY ENSUES!
Delcat: NOOOOOO I'M GETTING IT MIXED UP WITH ELECTRIC TALE OF PIKACHU AND PICTURING MAROWAKS
Delcat: CURSE YOU INKYYYYY
Zeiss Manifold: "If you fuck in a cemetery, you will be rewarded with good fortune!"
Zeiss Manifold: No, you know what this really needs?
Zeiss Manifold: Sharks.
InkWeaver: LOL
InkWeaver: as in jumping them or just in general?
Zeiss Manifold: Just have a page of people fucking in a bathroom and then SHARKS
Delcat: Gyo would be a great end to this manga.

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Page 130

Zeiss Manifold: STOP PROJECTING YOURSELF ONO
Zeiss Manifold: STOP IT
Zeiss Manifold: BAD ONO
InkWeaver: Awww that's so cute of you, Hikari!
InkWeaver: Here, let me spear you upon my girly prod!
Delcat: I like how they're all so excited that even the cock starts talking about success.
Zeiss Manifold: IT IS SEXYLOSERS
Delcat: The line of her stomach in that panel makes me uneasy, though. She looks a bit preggers.
InkWeaver: (Ugh, I just got word 2007 and have no idea how to do anything. WHERE IS WORD COUNT)

Quote:

Page 131

Zeiss Manifold: We've gone so long without a page of nothing but nondescript fucking that the sight feels oddly comforting.
InkWeaver: Zeiss, it is time for me to tell you to get ahold of yourself.
Zeiss Manifold: I CAN'T HELP IT
InkWeaver: DELLY
InkWeaver: WE'VE LOST HIM
Zeiss Manifold: THE LAST SEVENTEEN PAGES HAVE BEEN NOTHING BUT MAGICAL TOILETS AND PEOPLE TURNING INTO BLOBS
Delcat: *SMACK SMACK SMACK*
Delcat: PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, SOLDIER
Zeiss Manifold: UNHAND ME WOMAN
Delcat: I WILL TWIST OFF YOUR FIGGIN IF YOU PERSIST IN THIS NONSENSE
Zeiss Manifold: NOT MY FIGGIN
Zeiss Manifold: I NEED THAT FOR FIGGIN-RELATED PURPOSES
InkWeaver: NOOO
InkWeaver: THE FIGGINS
InkWeaver: AS WELL AS THE GRAPEINS
InkWeaver: AND THE LIMEINS
Zeiss Manifold: I'm sorry Del, but it's you who's gone too far
Zeiss Manifold: Just look what you've done to poor Inky
Delcat: I JUST CAN'T TAKE THE PRESSURE
InkWeaver: =D
InkWeaver: FIGGINS
Delcat: I'M THE ONLY SANE MEMBER OF THIS UNIT ANYMORE
InkWeaver: FIGGINS
Zeiss Manifold: You were practically begging to join us
Zeiss Manifold: It's not all fun and games, you know
InkWeaver: ...f
InkWeaver: figgins?
Delcat: YOU CONTRACTED ME
Zeiss Manifold: WE HATES THE THIEF FIGGINS
InkWeaver: *sob*
Delcat: WE CAN GET THOUGH THIS, GUYS, WE JUST NEED TO HOLD TOGETHER
Delcat: KEEP GOING ZEISS LET'S BULLRUSH THIS MOTHERFUCKER
InkWeaver: HOLD IT TOGETHER MEN
Zeiss Manifold: THIS MANGA IS TURNING US AGAINST EACH OTHER
Zeiss Manifold: ALRIGHT INKY
Zeiss Manifold: ALRIGHT DEL
Zeiss Manifold: LET'S PISS SOME SHIT INTO THIS BITCH
Delcat: oh ew
InkWeaver: did that already
InkWeaver: then saw a doctor

Quote:

Page 132

InkWeaver: he said it wasn't cool if i was pissing shit
InkWeaver: ....
InkWeaver: they're
InkWeaver: getting married.
Delcat: ...MAZEL TOV!
Delcat: *shoots self in head*
Zeiss Manifold: I TOLD YA PEOPLE
InkWeaver: klsjfklsdfj;dsklfjd;slkfjivkmi oeklsjrfmovkjl,mdfkljgf
InkWeaver: *dead*
Zeiss Manifold: IF WE ALLOWED THE HOMOSEXUALS TO GET MARRIED, THIS KIND OF THING WOULD HAPPEN
Zeiss Manifold: [/dobson]
Delcat: I was reading a manga that said the only way for gay people to get married in Japan is to adopt their partner into the family like a kid.
Zeiss Manifold: Hikari doesn't seem to have ties to anyone else at all, so at least there's that
Delcat: I'm on the fence between thinking that's insane and they made it up and thinking "Well, it IS Japan..."
InkWeaver: adopt them
InkWeaver: into their family
InkWeaver: as a kid
InkWeaver: And then
InkWeaver: marry them
InkWeaver: PLEASE TELL ME I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE DRAWING CONNECTIONS HERE.
Zeiss Manifold: JAPAN, YOU WACKY SO-AND-SO
Delcat: oh God how can there be fifty more pages of this

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Page 133

Zeiss Manifold: THE BANHAMMER
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S COME TO SAVE US
Zeiss Manifold: ...I think that's a hammer
InkWeaver: omfg so we finally know what age she is
Delcat: Oh fff. She is like EIGHT.
Zeiss Manifold: Is Ono promoting abstinence all of a sudden?
InkWeaver: I don't think so
InkWeaver: wtf is that really a hammer
InkWeaver: I honestly can't tell
Delcat: Anyway, there are laws? Everyone's fucking everyone regardless of age IN PUBLIC. Are there just not any cops?
InkWeaver: QUIT WITH THE CLOSE UPS ONO
InkWeaver: THEY ARE YOUR WEAKNESS
Delcat: I think they're sounding the New Years bell.
Zeiss Manifold: Ahhh.
Zeiss Manifold: I was figuring it was either a hammer or some part of the Death Star
Delcat: At the strike of twelve, her cock's going to turn into a pumpkin.
Delcat: Screaming will ensue.
Zeiss Manifold: ...ow.
Delcat: Am I the only one that doesn't want to see these two breed?
Zeiss Manifold: tl;dr - PEDOPHILIA IS A FUN SEXUAL WONDERLAND

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Page 134

Zeiss Manifold: "...because you're...BATMAN."
InkWeaver: "because you're... a potato"
Delcat: "Because you're...the one that I want, ooo-ooo-ooh!"
Zeiss Manifold: "Because you're...THE CHOSEN ONE."
Delcat: "Because you're...there and I'm horny."
InkWeaver: "Because... I hiccuped"
Zeiss Manifold: "Because you are a Jedi, like my father before me."
Delcat: "Because you're...so vain, you prob'ly think this cock is about you."
Delcat: "Because you're...good to Mama, so she's good to you!"
Zeiss Manifold: "Because you're...a mean one, Mister Grinch.
InkWeaver: "Because you're... " uh
InkWeaver: guys
InkWeaver: I'm not good at this.

Quote:

Page 135

Delcat: It's okay, it just means you're going to hell at a slower rate than the two of us.
InkWeaver: dude how many pages is there of tihs
InkWeaver: are we gonna see them get married?
Zeiss Manifold: Is "cum dump" supposed to be like this manga's catchphrase or what
InkWeaver: OMFG
Delcat: Wow. "Let's get married, my little cum dump!" How romantic.
Zeiss Manifold: I don't know, I haven't read this ahead of time
InkWeaver: I
InkWeaver: KNEWq
InkWeaver: SHE WAS GONNA SAY THAT
Zeiss Manifold: we all knew
Zeiss Manifold: we were just having fun with it
InkWeaver: oh
InkWeaver: /uncool
Delcat: ...oh hell oh hell. What is happening in the bottom panel? Which body is which? OH MY GOD THEY'RE MELTING TOGETHER. That's why having sex in the Ariake toilet keeps you together forever, YOU MELD INTO A SINGLE ORGANISM.
Delcat: ...that's actually a pretty cool idea for a Be Careful What You Wish For story. I kinda want to do that now.
Zeiss Manifold: SHE IS THE KWISATZ HADERCOCK
InkWeaver: OH GOD
InkWeaver: DUUUUUUUUUUUUNE
Zeiss Manifold: SPICE MUST FLOW
InkWeaver: WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO DUUUNE
Zeiss Manifold: pffft like Dune wasn't ruined already
InkWeaver: I thought I was the only one who was bored to death by it.
InkWeaver: UNLESS THAT WASN'T WHAT YOU MEANT IN WHICH CASE OMG YEAH TOTALLY I LOVE DUNE OMG
Zeiss Manifold: I was never able to make it past the first third
Zeiss Manifold: but I get the basic idea
Delcat: *waits politely until things swivel back in her fandom direction*
Zeiss Manifold: Um...LOOK GUYS IT'S CLOUD
InkWeaver: WHAt
InkWeaver: CLOUD
Delcat: IS HE BEING RAPED???
InkWeaver: WHERE
Zeiss Manifold: RIGHT THERE
Zeiss Manifold: NEXT TO RUFUS
Zeiss Manifold: AND TIDUS
Zeiss Manifold: AND JOE
InkWeaver: RUN GUYS
InkWeaver: YOU DON'T NEED THIS
InkWeaver: RUNNNN
Delcat: Who DOES need this?
Delcat: No, don't answer that, I don't want to know.

Quote:

Page 136

InkWeaver: Only Japan.
Zeiss Manifold: Why are they holding a comic convention in the NERV Geofront?
Delcat: whooo I almost clicked up the last page as my father went by that would've been fun
InkWeaver: LOL I ALMOST DID TOO
InkWeaver: as my father went by, I mean
Zeiss Manifold: i'm in yur AIM, ruinin' yur life
InkWeaver: my brain went, "Oh god LITTLE GIRL VAGINA ALL OVER THE SCREEN EXIT EXIT"
InkWeaver: ...what has my life become
Zeiss Manifold: you have entered
Delcat: So does the legend thing work if she pulls out? It doesn't seem in the spirit of the thing.
Zeiss Manifold: the Ono Zone
Zeiss Manifold: or "Zono"
Zeiss Manifold: as we call it
Delcat: God, look at her arms. Her tiny uncooked spaghetti arms.
InkWeaver: BETTY SPAGHETTI
Zeiss Manifold: AMELIA BEDELIA
Zeiss Manifold: RUDY PATOOTIE
Delcat: They're like...shrivelling off her shoulders.
InkWeaver: betty spaghetti
InkWeaver: was this doll from my yotuh
InkWeaver: youth
Zeiss Manifold: it doesn't even look like she has hands
Zeiss Manifold: her wrists are joined together
Delcat: I remember the commercials. All their bits came off.
Delcat: Is that's what's happening here? Is that where her hands went?
Zeiss Manifold: her arms and chest are like a giant square
Zeiss Manifold: or a loop of a christmas tree ornament

... "Cum dumps"?

In the tabletop role playing game Call of Cthulhu, there's a method of determining when your character is going to be driven insane by exposure to books, ideas, and monsters from the Mythos: the Sanity score. Every time you encounter something from the Mythos, you lose Sanity points until you reach zero and are driven irredeemably, irretrievably insane (at which time you either are sent to a sanitarium or get your own show on Fox News)

I begin to think Ono comics work on a similar principle.

I hate to think how many Sanity points you are all losing reading this comic, but we all salute your sacrifice!

Trioculus wrote:

I hate to think how many Sanity points you are all losing reading this comic, but we all salute your sacrifice!

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous, got me?

BTW, the manga has been completely sporked as of two nights ago. This is just to let you all know, as I can't quite sum up the ending with human words.

Shitgobbling pissdrinker Join date: 2009-06-13

Zeiss Manifold wrote:

A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous, got me?.

Also, a tin teardrop.

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Quote:

Page 137

Zeiss Manifold: Hey, this is actually a fairly nice landsc-WAIT
InkWeaver: oh hey look at that cartoon kit -- AHH
Delcat: When you see it...
Zeiss Manifold: Kuroneko? Or Longcat?
Delcat: It's their lovechild, I think.
Delcat: On the next page, they get run over by Ranma and Shampoo. At least, I can hope.
Inkweaver (9:43:04 PM): OR
InkWeaver: Wolfwood comes in and fucks their shit up with the Punisher.
Delcat: Wow, it IS full of mercy!
Zeiss Manifold: I would pay good money to see that

Quote:

Page 138

Zeiss Manifold: "Spring. A time for blowjobs."
InkWeaver: It
InkWeaver: NEVER
InkWeaver: ENDS
InkWeaver: Springtime, for blowjobs...
InkWeaver: in japanese!
Delcat: "A year in the life of a crazy dickgirl and her underage entourage."
Delcat: That's it, isn't it? They're trying to pull an Azumanga Daioh thing.
Delcat: guys
Delcat: I'm developing an aversion to boats.
InkWeaver: having never seen it, I can offer no opinion on that theory.
InkWeaver: me too.
InkWeaver: and fucking.
Zeiss Manifold: I think the boat is secretly behind all of this.
Delcat: Oh God. Her head is bigger than her HIPS.
Zeiss Manifold: The REAL magic sex toilet? On the boat.
Delcat: No, no, Zeiss. Then it would be a magic sex HEAD.
InkWeaver: I imagine that if I puffed air toward her
Zeiss Manifold: That cock is seriously like half the size of her
InkWeaver: (trying to refrain from using the word "blow" here)
InkWeaver: she would just tip over
Zeiss Manifold: Don't tell me Ono has a shrinking fetish too...
Delcat: That reminds me, what happened to that guy from the House who had the micro/macro fetish? He was pretty cool, I liked him.
InkWeaver: I... thought that was keith
InkWeaver: Wasn't it Keith/
Delcat: Yeah, Keith, Inc. Is he around, still?
Zeiss Manifold: there was a guy once
InkWeaver: oooh Keith, Inc that's right
Zeiss Manifold: on the Agony Booth forums
Zeiss Manifold: that had that fetish
Zeiss Manifold: he would finish nearly every other sentence with, "...one of my people, the MACROPHILES."
Delcat: ...that makes me very glad we got one of the sane people, the MACROPHILES.
InkWeaver: Well I mean
InkWeaver: back in my day, MY people, the MACROPHILES
Zeiss Manifold: They're a fun bunch.
InkWeaver: NEVER associated with those dirty MICROPHILES.
Delcat: Ah, but isn't size all a matter of perspective?
Delcat: ...what were we talking about? Oh yeah, horrible H-manga. Fuck.

Quote:

Page 139

InkWeaver: oh yay
InkWeaver: honestly
InkWeaver: I am getting so bored
Zeiss Manifold: I think her nipples are just trying to flee her body
Delcat: I'm glad the next one we're working on gets progressively crazier by the page.
InkWeaver: yeah this is just getting tiring
InkWeaver: FUCKING - FUCKING - stupid dialogue - FUCKING - stupid dialogue WHILE fucking - AKSJDASKJD
Delcat: oh FUCK is she breaking in half in that last panel or is it just me.
Zeiss Manifold: She certainly looks it
Delcat: I wish we had buzzers like in America's Got Talent.
Delcat: The ability to stop a page at any time.
Zeiss Manifold: or the whole book for that matter
Zeiss Manifold: but
Zeiss Manifold: we have pledged to do this whole thing
Zeiss Manifold: no matter how long it takes
InkWeaver: WE
Delcat: WE MUST PERSEVERE!
InkWeaver: WILL
InkWeaver: CONQUER THIS
Delcat: *puts on We Shall Overcome*
Zeiss Manifold: SANITY IS GONE. IT IS NOT COMING BACK
Zeiss Manifold: BUT WITHIN MY HEART
Zeiss Manifold: AND WITHIN MY BRAIN
Delcat: Pete Seeger, lead us through with catchy protest songs!
Zeiss Manifold: THE WILL TO SPORK LIVES ON!
Zeiss Manifold: WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK WE ARE?
Delcat: ...wait a second, this is a mislabeled copy of Skip to My Lou.
Zeiss Manifold: WE ARE THE INVINCIBLE SPORKING BRIGADE
InkWeaver: I AM TWELVE YEARS OLD AND WHAT IS THIS
InkWeaver: OH GOD
Delcat: :D
Zeiss Manifold: BELIEVE IN THE ME WHO BELIEVES THIS IS CRAP
InkWeaver: "Love Me Like a Rock" just came on
InkWeaver: NO
InkWeaver: NO
InkWeaver: NO
InkWeaver: NO PAUL SIMON NOT TODAY.
Zeiss Manifold: OK PEOPLE
Zeiss Manifold: ARE YOU READY FOR THIS
Delcat: YESSIR
Delcat: I'D LIKE ANOTHER
Zeiss Manifold: I CAN'T HEAR YOU
Delcat: YES SIR, HIT ME AGAIN

Quote:

Page 140

Zeiss Manifold: ONLY FORTY MORE PAGES LEFT
Zeiss Manifold: COCKS
Zeiss Manifold: SEX
Zeiss Manifold: PUSSY
Zeiss Manifold: CUM
Zeiss Manifold: ERECTION
InkWeaver: That, my friends, is a meta moment
Zeiss Manifold: BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED, I AM TOSHIHIRO ONO!
InkWeaver: she seems to be summing up this - PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFf
InkWeaver: Zeiss wins.
InkWeaver: WAIT
InkWeaver: WHERE IS HEART
InkWeaver: EVERYONE NEEDS HEART.
Zeiss Manifold: SHUT UP WE HAVE FIVE ALREADY
Delcat: For some reason, the kappa doll in the background is just killing me.
Zeiss Manifold: middle left panel - is her breast a fucking caterpillar
Delcat: Soon it will cocoon and then transform into a beautiful shitting dicknipple.
Zeiss Manifold: And hey - TIMESKIP. Don't tell me this isn't interesting.

Quote:

Page 141

Zeiss Manifold: DAMMIT ONO I TOLD YOU TO SPAY THEM
Delcat: Her breasts are...wandering. And taking over the entire horizon of the bed.
InkWeaver: "And then you, a sixteen year old girl, can bear my dickgirl children! And no one will care because no one ever does!"
Delcat: I think they're going to do the Tetsuo sex blob thing again.
Zeiss Manifold: You need more than two people to do that.
Zeiss Manifold: Unless...
Zeiss Manifold: That's why they're moving to Tokyo
Delcat: She already has the equipment of two people.
Zeiss Manifold: To destroy it
Delcat: She ends up shoveling Viagra down her face by the handful to dull the pain of the transformation...
Zeiss Manifold: Oh my God.
InkWeaver: Ithink they're going to transform into that monster then raze tokyo to the ground, godzilla style.
Zeiss Manifold: ...The cover makes sense now.
Delcat: And then they cut out 85% of the content for the movie and everyone wonders what the hell is going on but decides it's pretty cool anyway.
InkWeaver: ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: WHAT
InkWeaver: WE SUDDENLY UNDERSTAND THE COVER.
InkWeaver: also something occurred to me
Zeiss Manifold: THAT'S WHAT I WAS SAYING
Zeiss Manifold: are you okay
Delcat: Oh hell, Winamp just shuffled up Sex Bomb...

Quote:

Page 142

Zeiss Manifold: BOY I'D SURE HATE TO SEE IMMORALITY IN THIS HERE PORNO MANGA
InkWeaver: DAMN THOSE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL PROSTITUTES
Zeiss Manifold: THEY DRIVE ME TO DRINK
InkWeaver: LURING IN INNOCENT DICKGIRLS AND MAKING THEM UNSUITABLE FOR MARRIAGE
Zeiss Manifold: This book is like the moral equivalent of a cuisinart machine.
Delcat: Are they naked on a boat now?
Delcat: Is the boat finally going to get some action?
Zeiss Manifold: YOU CAN DO IT BOAT

Quote:

Page 143

Delcat42 : I've been to Tokyo. I think I was the most immoral thing there.
InkWeaver: never was there such a joyous cry
InkWeaver: as
InkWeaver: "I'M GONNA GET RAPED!"
InkWeaver: "KYAA!"
Zeiss Manifold: :lolinsane:
Zeiss Manifold: or should I say:
Zeiss Manifold: :lolinsane: RAPE :lolinsane:
Delcat: Whoa, that is a hell of realistic vibe. Did she lop off someone's cock for that?
Zeiss Manifold: Cyberwulf if you are reading this in the future I am so sorry
Delcat: I mean, aside from the creepy hinge thing.
Zeiss Manifold: Given today's dong technology...
InkWeaver: dong technology?
InkWeaver: It's not stupid!
InkWeaver: It's adva~anced!
InkWeaver: and if anyone can place that quote, you get e-cookies.
Delcat: She has her pinky out. I didn't know that was proper dildo etiquette.

Quote:

Page 144

Delcat: Hey, we've hit a gross of pages!
Zeiss Manifold: Something's *gross*, all right
InkWeaver: BAZING
InkWeaver: Also
Zeiss Manifold: I think that woman's tits are actually stress balls
InkWeaver: it looks like they're using her tits as reins.
Delcat: I...ow. They're not HANDLES, you know.
Zeiss Manifold: dun dununun dununun dununun dun DA DA

Oh God I love you guys so much <3

"Highschooler"? I've certainly never saw a highschool girl with the body of a five-year old before. :aaa:

Quote:

Page 145

Delcat: So...are they gonna just lose interest as these kids grow up and sprout boobs?
Delcat: That's been bugging me.
InkWeaver: I have seriously been wondering that this entire time.
Zeiss Manifold: I...don't know
Delcat: It's like, OH WE'LL BE TOGETHA 4-EVAH
Delcat: But they're EPHEBOPHILES
Zeiss Manifold: If we subscribe to the "ghost" theory, then that shouldn't be a problem
InkWeaver: now now delcat
InkWeaver: that might not be the case
InkWeaver: it might be just that they are very attracted to these... girls
InkWeaver: not because of their bodies but because of true love
Delcat: Inky?
Zeiss Manifold: TRU LURRRVE
Zeiss Manifold: Hey guys
Zeiss Manifold: There's only 37 pages left
InkWeaver: Delly?
Delcat: Is that a statement you REALLY want associated with you online.
Zeiss Manifold: We might finish this.
Delcat: ?
InkWeaver: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA OH GOD.
InkWeaver: I DID NOT EVEN
InkWeaver: REALIZE
InkWeaver: ROFL
Zeiss Manifold: There is a "That's what she said" joke lying in here but I'm too lazy to make it

Quote:

Page 146

Delcat: *cough* MOVING ON. Is it just me, or are they kind of turning into an alien hive breed here? NNNAAAH, MUST SUCK TITS FOR GOOD OF QUEEN.
Zeiss Manifold: Thanks, author's note!
Zeiss Manifold: Out of all the questions this book raises, you take the one minor reference to a Sentai show.
Delcat: ...okay. Totally unironically? I WANT ME ONE O' THOSE.
Delcat: Not to use, but to put on my coffee table.
Zeiss Manifold: Where are the cocks growing out of?
Delcat: And never acknowledge.
Zeiss Manifold: It looks slightly non-euclidean
Delcat: Especially when the Mormons dropped by.
InkWeaver: I just want one to pet
InkWeaver: I mean
InkWeaver: it has those little arms
InkWeaver: almost like it's waving at you
Zeiss Manifold: It reminds me of the Imperial Interrogation Droid
Delcat: Awwww, whosagoodtentaclemonster?
InkWeaver: DOOYOUWANTTHEBALL
Delcat: So what's inside it? A jizz resevoir, or...something more sinister?
Zeiss Manifold: A thousand hidden cocks
Zeiss Manifold: of varying materials

Quote:

Page 147

Delcat: You start using it and OH MY GOD IT'S A CAMOFLAUGED DALEK AAAAAH*ZAP*
Zeiss Manifold: is that machine ejaculating
InkWeaver: look at the craters on that
InkWeaver: it almost looks like a tentacled moon
Delcat: It's such a weird blend of organic and inorganic. I'm seriously in love with the design for the sheer bizarreness.
Delcat: And I've been reading this manga so long that I can somehow ignore that she's trying to rape a middle-schooler with it.
Zeiss Manifold: So magical sex toy droid = only good thing about the book, I take it
Zeiss Manifold: I'm just blocking out the pedophilia at this point
Zeiss Manifold: and concentrating on the background details
Delcat: ...yup, that would appear to be the case. We love you, sex toy droid!
Delcat: Let's name it. How about Mr. Wiggles?
InkWeaver: MR. WIGGLES~~~<3
Zeiss Manifold: MISTER WIGGLES
Delcat: OH, LIFE HAS A PURPOSE AGAIN
Zeiss Manifold: :lolinsane: MISTER WIGGLES :lolinsane:

Quote:

Page 148

Zeiss Manifold: I miss Mr. Wiggles already.
Delcat: M...Mr. Wiggles? Where did you go?
Zeiss Manifold: I do like how this page is a microcosm of the entire book, though
MemorizedMo : AWWW
InkWeaver: WHERE DID WIGGLES GO
Delcat: Oh, it so is not.
InkWeaver: I HATE THIS CRAP BRING BACK WIGLES.
Delcat: How can you be so cruel?
Delcat: THERE'S NO BOAT.
Zeiss Manifold: Maybe they're fucking on a boat
Zeiss Manifold: Huh? HUH?
Delcat: Ah, true. Sorry.

Quote:

Page 149

Zeiss Manifold: Is this the Ono equivalent of a montage sequence
Delcat: Have...have we just given up on dialogue at this point?
InkWeaver: dude
InkWeaver: is this a montage
InkWeaver: like a 90s MONTAGE
InkWeaver: what music should it have?
Zeiss Manifold: WE NEED MUSIC
Delcat: Something about penises...
Delcat: Bananaphone?
Delcat: ...it's about penises if I say it is.
Zeiss Manifold: This isn't but it works suprisingly well:
Zeiss Manifold: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: All I can think of is how nice it'd be if I was rolling up that eraser in Katamari Damacy right now. It's the same kind.

Quote:

Page 150

Zeiss Manifold: for god's sakes how long is this montage going to last
Delcat: You know, she's been taken to Ariake. You'd think we would've wrapped up by now.
Zeiss Manifold: Take Me To Ariake II: Take Harder
InkWeaver: LOL
InkWeaver: MAybe we're waiting for the physical Ariake
InkWeaver: metaphorical I mean
InkWeaver: as in the great big Ariake in the sky
InkWeaver: as in, them killing themselves or an angry mob lynching them.
Delcat: Haven't we seen this exact same fucking scene before?
Zeiss Manifold: what do you mean by 'fucking scene'
Zeiss Manifold: are you emphasizing 'scene' or are you referring to a scene of fucking
Delcat: I DON'T KNOW ANYMORE.
Zeiss Manifold: 'cause i hear you either way

Quote:

Page 151

Delcat: oh God you are ruining Mah Nah, Mah Nah forever for me
Zeiss Manifold: "Semen-colored memories of the way we were..."
Delcat: Guys...I didn't think I'd ever say this, but I'm sick and tired of looking at cocks.
Zeiss Manifold: there aren't even any interesting cocks in this
Delcat: Have they seriously fucked on every block in town?
Zeiss Manifold: at least the guy from Anal Fantasy had a scar on his
Zeiss Manifold: I can't tell these apart
InkWeaver: I'm telling you
InkWeaver: all of Japan is going to wake up covered in jizz
InkWeaver: oh wait it's Japan that happens every day anyway.
Delcat: Did they have a road map and a Sharpie for the purpose of keeping track, like a Silent Hill game?

Quote:

Page 152

Delcat: I used to thought?
Delcat: I used to thought I could survive this.
Delcat: Now, I'm not so sure.
InkWeaver: god.
InkWeaver: I .
InkWeaver: The Engrish is so damning her.
InkWeaver: here.
InkWeaver: dskfjlsdklfj
Zeiss Manifold: You know we really haven't been laying enough blame on the translators
InkWeaver: IT'S INFECTING ME.
Delcat: At least now everyone knows what that smell is. People were wondering if something died.
Zeiss Manifold: Lots of sperm died.

Quote:

Page 153

Delcat: I think that's the same boat over and over and over again. They've been trying to sail out of this manga, but they just come out again on the other side, like the void in Coraline.
Zeiss Manifold: This is going to make for the weirdest set of vows ever
Delcat: So there IS a pee fetish going on here?
Delcat: Maybe THAT'S the smell.
Zeiss Manifold: It's sort of an implied pee fetish
Zeiss Manifold: so far
InkWeaver: implied pee
InkWeaver: is the best kind of pee!
InkWeaver: And how!
Delcat: Oh boy, a little girl with a wedding ring. That isn't gonna draw attention from the authorities at all.
InkWeaver: Delcat.
InkWeaver: the authorities have not even been drawn by their public fucking.
InkWeaver: Loud, juicy fucking.
InkWeaver: and no authorities.
InkWeaver: DO YOU REALLY THINK THE WEDDING RING WILL DO ANYTHING.
Delcat: I CAN HOPE OKAY I CAN HOPE

NOTE: After the end of the previous chapter, there are a few full-page illustrations. None of them are particularly sporkable, but I’ll put them up for the sake of completion.

Quote:

Page 154
Page 155
Page 156
Page 157
Page 158

Still, there’s one more chapter to go. And would you believe that it’s even more strange and incomprehensible than the rest of them?

Shitgobbling pissdrinker Join date: 2009-06-12

What the hell is up with the last picture?!

And This is Why I Need Medication Join date: 2009-06-11

bleachedblackcat wrote:

What the hell is up with the last picture?!

Nothing good, I'd wager, since both character appear to be under 10 years of age.

bleachedblackcat wrote:

What the hell is up with the last picture?!

IT'SSS AWW-RIGHTTT!!! Excitedplz

bleachedblackcat wrote:

What the hell is up with the last picture?!

Your guess is as good as mine, as I don't think those characters appear anywhere else in the book.

And trust me, be glad that Heino is watching over you.

Drive-by Camwhore Join date: 2009-06-20

I know that I am sooooo glad that Heino is watching over us. I just...that last picture was probably one of the most disturbing I've seen in this (perhaps with the exception of the Akira blob monster).

With only one chapter left, the journey through Ariake is nearly complete! But what horrors await us?

This chapter doesn’t have any pedo stuff, so I left it uncensored. Finally, you’ll all be able to see the balloontits and hingedicks in all their glory!

Quote:

Page 159

Delcat: Is the chapter like an epilogue?
Zeiss Manifold: I think it's unrelated
Zeiss Manifold: haven't read it yet
Delcat: I'm game if you two are, but I don't wanna hold you two up, either.
Zeiss Manifold: I've got nothing else to do
Zeiss Manifold: and I think Inky is intent on staying up
Zeiss Manifold: So Y/N?
InkWeaver: Y
Zeiss Manifold: alright
InkWeaver: And then we can be DONE WITH THIS SHIT
InkWeaver: sdjfklsdjfdskljf WOOHOO

Quote:

Page 160

Zeiss Manifold: Gee, sudden otaku rage in three panels
Delcat: For a second, I thought it was implied that the ENTIRE MANGA was JUST A TV SHOW
Zeiss Manifold: and what is it with these damn penises
Zeiss Manifold: are they supposed to be some sort of narrative device?
Delcat: Which almost would be a relief, really...
Zeiss Manifold: It would explain a lot

Quote:

Page 161

Delcat: I think so. I think they're like the "APPLAUSE" signs they have for live TV shows. When you the penis lights up, you cum!
Zeiss Manifold: I'd be fucking exhausted by the end of this if that was the case
Zeiss Manifold: Okay, now we're in hell.
Delcat: I-Inky? Are they talking to you too?
Delcat: Are the little dickgirls asking you if you've masturbated today?
Delcat: OR HAVE I FINALLY LOST IT
Zeiss Manifold: I thought it was crossdressers that didn't have rights in the Ono-verse...
Delcat: So apparently once gay rights are achieved, they start subdividing into more specific rights.
Zeiss Manifold: I think I'd be less surprised by someone being a lesbian than I would someone being a dickgirl
Delcat: The Futanari Lesbian Voice Actor Rights parade wasn't very popular. All the text on their signs was all squished up from all the words.
Zeiss Manifold: I can't figure out if this is supposed to be subtle social commentary, or what
Zeiss Manifold: I should also mention that the name of this chapter is "Black Rx", for what it's worth
Delcat: Black Prescription? For...what?

Quote:

Page 162

Delcat: Inky, when I come over, can we strip naked and watch anime?
Zeiss Manifold: How come I'm never invited to your crazy naked anime parties
Zeiss Manifold: damn kids
Zeiss Manifold: Is that a VG console? I thought it was a ham radio.

Quote:

Page 163

Delcat: ...a competetive H-game. That is actually a brilliant idea. I imagine J-List has already jumped on the prospect.
InkWeaver: You know
InkWeaver: I'm not really down for the stripping naked part of the anime suggestion
InkWeaver: just thinking you might want to make a good impression on my parents
Delcat: But that's how BEST FRIENDS do it! The Internet wouldn't lie!
InkWeaver: kay wait I was AFK for a moment
InkWeaver: who is this Utari chick.
Zeiss Manifold: The pigtailed one
Delcat: We have a new set of dickgirls. They do voice acting for hentai games. That's as far as I can care.
InkWeaver: Is that it?
Delcat: Actually, that's further than I can care, but I tried just for you, Inky~
Zeiss Manifold: Don't go all ~ on me

Quote:

Page 164

Delcat: ~ ~ ~
Delcat: THEY ARE WORMS
Delcat: oh hey you know what
Delcat: I'm really surprised that Hikari didn't end up growing a dick.
Zeiss Manifold: You are right
Zeiss Manifold: This manga has drifted into 'smile and nod' land
Delcat: At the Naked Round Table of the Naked Board Meeting...
InkWeaver: I just don't even know what's going on anymore.
InkWeaver: I am not even compelled to be funny about this horseshit
Zeiss Manifold: Pfft. Typical futanari lesbian manners!
InkWeaver: WHY WON'T IT END..
Delcat: Just look at the pretty pictures, honey, look at the pretty pictures.

Quote:

Page 165

Zeiss Manifold: The futanari lesbian duooo
Zeiss Manifold: The futanari lesbian duooo
Delcat: You know what would be fun, guys?
Delcat: Instead of reading this, we could have a sing-song./
Zeiss Manifold: OKAY
Delcat: We could do Lion Sleeps Tonight.
InkWeaver: A WEEMOWEP
InkWeaver: A WEEMOWEP
Delcat: I could do the low part, and Inky could do the high part, and Zeiss, you can do the chorus!
Zeiss Manifold: A WHEENA WHACKA
InkWeaver: EEEEE-EEEE-EEE-EEEE-EEEE-EEE-EEE-EEEE-EEE
InkWeaver: EEE-OOO-BOMBAWAY
Zeiss Manifold: WHEEEABUMBUAY
InkWeaver: or whatEVER the fuck they're signing
Delcat: Hey-up BOOOOY, A WEEMOWEH
InkWeaver: singing*
Delcat: A WEEMOWEH
InkWeaver: ROFL
InkWeaver: WHAT
Delcat: A WEEMOWEH
InkWeaver: ARE WE EVEN TYPING
Zeiss Manifold: ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: IN ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: THE DICKGIRL CUMS TONIGHT
Zeiss Manifold: ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: IN ARIAKE
Zeiss Manifold: THE SEMEN'S SHINING BRIGHT
InkWeaver: IN ARIAKE
InkWeaver: IN ARIAKE
Delcat: ooo-WEEEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE-WEEM-O-WUMBAWEH
Delcat: oh hell it's still not over is it
InkWeaver: I always forget what comes next
InkWeaver: 'cause in Lion King
Zeiss Manifold: ON THE BOAT
InkWeaver: Timon and Pumba get interrupted right about here.
Zeiss Manifold: THE PEACEFUL BOAT
Delcat: Then the dickgirl jizzes in someone's ear, I think.
Zeiss Manifold: okay i'm all sung out

Quote:

Page 166

Zeiss Manifold: are her tits bending of her own accord
Zeiss Manifold: Asumin: The Last Titbender
Delcat: Dude, did she just...age like twenty years, or are we looking at a different character, or oh God I don't even care.
Zeiss Manifold: I think these are different characters
Zeiss Manifold: I imagine this girl just dumping a basket of condoms onto the street like a twisted version of a ticker-tape parade
Delcat: wtf. She ordered a THOUSAND condoms and it's only because she got THREE TIMES her order that she's having trouble getting rid of them?

NEXT TIME: The stunning conclusion!

At last, the final stretch! With so little left to go, will our Spork Squad survive with their sanities intact? Find out!

NOTE: Before reading, you may want to take the time to read the [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] thread if you haven’t already. You’ll see why.

All links are NSFW from here.

Zeiss Manifold: IS EVERYBODY HERE
Delcat: Well as long as we're all here
Delcat: *HANDCUFFS EVERYONE TO THE COMIC*
Delcat: THERE
Zeiss Manifold: OH NO
Zeiss Manifold: SO EVERYBODY
Zeiss Manifold: ON THE LAST EPISODE OF "TAKE ME TO ARIAKE"
Delcat: Hingecocks and mouthrape. The usual.
InkWeaver: Yeah.
InkWeaver: That kind of stuff.
InkWeaver: That I've become used to.
Delcat: ACK DON'T VIRUS SCAN NOW YOU COW OF A COMPUTER
InkWeaver: ROFL
Delcat: WHY IS THE SCHEDULED SCAN AT ONE IN THE MORNING
Delcat: THE ONLY WAY THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE IS IF ONO HIMSELF IS CONSPIRING AGAINST ME
InkWeaver: HAHAHAHAHA
InkWeaver: ONE IN THE MORNING
InkWeaver: FOR ALL YOUR VIRUS NEEDS
Delcat: okay I killed it sorry
Delcat: Sweet buggery batshit fucking dick.
InkWeaver: :O
Zeiss Manifold: how long does a virus scan take
InkWeaver: It didn't deserve that!
Delcat: Doesn't matter, shut it down. We can proceed.
Zeiss Manifold: tl;dr: There are voice actresses with cocks and I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON ANYMORE
Delcat: Plus those boobs seem to be nigh-prehensile and are slamming the table in indignance. I guess this is where Unskilled gets his anatomy lessons.
Zeiss Manifold: that was the last page we did
Zeiss Manifold: NOW, THE SAGA CONTINUES
InkWeaver: wait wait
InkWeaver: condoms?!
InkWeaver: WHY NOW?
Zeiss Manifold: don't ask me
InkWeaver: ARE THESE GIRLS NOW PHYSICALLY ABLE TO PROCREATE
InkWeaver: ewewewewewewewewewewewwwwwwwww

Quote:

Page 167

Delcat: Well, they ARE hermaphrodites.
Delcat: I wonder if snails have this kind of porn.
InkWeaver: oh wait
Zeiss Manifold: honestly, the dialogue is just white noise now
InkWeaver: are these those different chicks again
InkWeaver: oh my god
InkWeaver: oh my god
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: what if these chicks
InkWeaver: are the offspring of Yasuko and Hikari?!
Zeiss Manifold: ARIAKE: THE NEXT GENERATION
Delcat: ...you know what? I think that's actually what it's supposed to be.
Zeiss Manifold: oh god
Delcat: Remember all that hinting about babies?
Delcat: We're seeing two out of a clutch of 50,000.
Delcat: The earth has already been conquered, zombie-style.
Zeiss Manifold: are you saying that Ono has gone and retconned all his works into one universe?
Delcat: They're voice-acting for the daily Morale Booster Audio Drama for the proles.
InkWeaver: holy god
InkWeaver: you're probably right
Delcat: Not quite. He draws random Oddishes all over his Pokemon manga.
InkWeaver: I wonder
InkWeaver: what the doctors did
InkWeaver: when the children were born with vaginas AND penises
Delcat: ...Oddishes...Oddishes are my favorite Pokemon. I always liked how...how he drew them just for me...and...WAAAAAH
Zeiss Manifold: but then...are Ash and friends still wandering around Dickgirl Land?
InkWeaver: "Congratulations, Mrs. Yasuko! It's a girl -- uhm, boy, uhm -- oh dear."
Delcat: GUYS MY CHILDHOOD IS BEING KNOCKED DOWN THE STAIRS OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Zeiss Manifold: YOU MUST STAY ON TARGET
Zeiss Manifold: TAKE YOUR SADNESS AND TRANSFORM IT INTO SPORK
InkWeaver: FOCUS GRASSHOPPAH
Delcat: I SPENT ALL DAY SCANNING HIS POKEMON MANGA AND THE WHIPLASH IS MAKING MY TITS BLEED SPOILED MILK

Quote:

Page 168

Delcat: Oh hey I still have some Mike's in the fridge. Carry on :-D
Zeiss Manifold: YOUR COCK IS HUGE. THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS!
Delcat: It had better. I mean, really, where ARE they putting those?
Zeiss Manifold: wait this one seems to have balls for some reason
Delcat: A mutation after the inevitable nuclear holocaust.
Zeiss Manifold: ...is Ono going to give us a lesson on safe sex?
Delcat: Wait, no, I'm thinking of the next project, sorry.
Zeiss Manifold: THIS IS AN AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL AFTER ALL
Delcat: Why are there cats all over the place?
Delcat: Did we just HAVE to throw in kenonomimi on top of everything else?
InkWeaver: hmmm
InkWeaver: allow me to analyze this page.
Zeiss Manifold: ...cats?
Delcat: It's like they somehow knew today was the day that Naruto hermaphrodite catboy fic was going to be reposted.
InkWeaver: Well.
InkWeaver: What I gather from this page
InkWeaver: is that in the last panel
Zeiss Manifold: Hold on Del I think I sent you the wrong page
InkWeaver: that girl has been punched in the cunt.
Delcat: I mean, uh--OH GOD THIS MANGA IS DRIVING ME SO CRAZY I SEE PUSSY EVERYWHERE
Zeiss Manifold (1:16:31 AM): I think Ono should either sex or talk to concentrate on
Zeiss Manifold: because when he does both at the same time it just does not work
Delcat: ...I wish I hadn't bothered to correct that oversight.
Zeiss Manifold: but they're arguing about condoms!
Zeiss Manifold: IT'S AMUSEMENT
InkWeaver: guys
Delcat: She looks like she's gonna bite her head off, mantis-style.
InkWeaver: we gotta pick this up
InkWeaver: I'm about to drop dead.
Delcat: Right, sorry.

Quote:

Page 169

Delcat: SEE PUSSY
Zeiss Manifold: no fair you read ahead
InkWeaver: If I visit japan
Zeiss Manifold: ...why don't these people have pants on
Delcat: It was an accident!
InkWeaver: will I see live dickgirl concerts
Zeiss Manifold: i mean seriously who is the fucking target audience for this thing
Delcat: I'm surprised the cats don't have balls. Hell, the cats have balls in kids' manga in Japan, and they don't have balls here? I just don't get it.
Delcat: Panel 4 is seriously creeping me out and I'm not sure why. I mean, besides the obvious.
InkWeaver: she's just
InkWeaver: dancing around
InkWeaver: with no pants
InkWeaver: WITH NO
InkWeaver: PANTS
InkWeaver: I mean look at this
InkWeaver: the concert
InkWeaver: has a giant cat suit person
InkWeaver: who is this concert for?!
InkWeaver: please tell me it's not children
InkWeaver: I might cry.
Delcat: ...Harley?
Zeiss Manifold: probably for the "MOE~" crowd
Zeiss Manifold: but I doubt that many of them would be willing to leave their basements
Zeiss Manifold: you silly, she's not raping herself with a robot
Zeiss Manifold: ...yet
Delcat: ...yet.

Quote:

Page 170

Zeiss Manifold: this will not end well
Delcat: When you hear the tone, turn the page! *flip*
InkWeaver: UGH
Delcat: Is she jizzing out her nose?
InkWeaver: CAN HE PLEASE
InkWeaver: JSUT FUCKING EXPLAIN WHY WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE
Delcat: BECAUSE THEY HAVE DICKS AND PUSSIES
Delcat: AND PUSSIES WITH PUSSIES AND PUSSIES WITH DICKS AND
Delcat: yeah okay I've got nothing it's all blending together
Zeiss Manifold: YO DAWG I HERD YOU LIKE PUSSIES
InkWeaver: SO
InkWeaver: WE PUT DICKS IN YOUR PUSSY
InkWeaver: "but I -- "
InkWeaver: SO YOU CAN FUCK WHILE YOU FUCK
InkWeaver: "But that's -- "
InkWeaver: COOL HUH?
InkWeaver: "No."
Delcat: I bet you could fit like a hundred dicks in THAT pussy.
Delcat: oh God I made a fursuit funny KILL ME.
Zeiss Manifold: have i ever told you guys that i love you so fucking much
Delcat: Enough to pay for our therapy?
Zeiss Manifold: pffft, therapy is for losers
Delcat: OH GOD I FLIPPED AHEAD WITHOUT THINKING AND IT'S RAPING MY EYES
Zeiss Manifold: D=
Delcat: AND MY EVERYTHING ELSE
Zeiss Manifold: DON'T SPOIL IT
InkWeaver: I CAN'T FLIP AHEAD ASKJDASKLDJ
InkWeaver: guys
InkWeaver: fifteen minutes
InkWeaver: then bed time
InkWeaver: srsly.
Zeiss Manifold: okay
Zeiss Manifold: we'll see what we can get done
Delcat: I'm so sorry about my suckage >~<
InkWeaver: don't apologize, bb
InkWeaver: shit happens
Delcat: Enough to use anime smileys I have never in my LIFE used
InkWeaver: I just have class
Zeiss Manifold: for the record, I would be quite terrified if a giant anthropormophic cat offered to wipe off my sperm
Delcat: That's a good sign, honey. That's a good sign.

Quote:

Page 171

Delcat: At...at least it doesn't have...little barbs on it.
Zeiss Manifold: fuck it
Delcat: I DON'T WANT TO.
Zeiss Manifold: I LIKE cats, goddamnit
InkWeaver: NO
InkWeaver: THIS IS TEARING ME APAAAAART
Zeiss Manifold: cats don't deserve this
Delcat: I LIKE ELECTRIC TALE OF PIKACHU. HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL.
InkWeaver: I LIKE MY BRAIN
InkWeaver: HOW DO YOU BOTH THINK I FEEL
InkWeaver: okay okay
InkWeaver: TWO MORE PAGES
Delcat: All this time, whenever he drew Meowth, he was thinking OH HEY I COULD DO THIS WITH SEX
Delcat: ...I seriously think we cannot add anything to this page.
Zeiss Manifold: Except that
Delcat: It stands alone. Like a horrible cheese.
Zeiss Manifold: I do not trust this cat at all

Quote:

Page 172

InkWeaver: I do not trust ANYTHING anymore.
Delcat: Oh, meanie meanie fucks-my-ass, nyuuuu~!
Zeiss Manifold: I bet these people actually came to see Journey
Delcat: There's some douche in the front row yelling FUCK FREEBIRD
InkWeaver: "Oh hye did you get tickets to that cover band for tonight?"
InkWeaver: "Yeah, I heard they're pretty ENTERTAINING."
Zeiss Manifold: You know, I actually feel kind of disappointed in Ono for resorting to the old "I AM RAPING YOU IN FRONT OF PEOPLE AND YOU ARE LIKING IT" chestnut
Delcat: I think they have actually come to their senses and are rushing the stage to bludgeon their dickgirl overlords to death with their glowsticks.
InkWeaver: "Oh yeah, I heard they cover beatles songs and everything."
Delcat: It is a glowing ocean of justice and blood and jizz.
InkWeaver: "I heard they don't cover much. That's why I got the tickets."
InkWeaver: "...what?"
Delcat: *rimshot*
InkWeaver: "You'll see."
InkWeaver: *an hour later*
InkWeaver: "YOU ARE THE WORST FRIEND EVER. I WILL NEVER GET THE JIZZ OUT OF MY NICE SHIRT."
Delcat: You know how after you've been to the beach, you spent weeks finding sand in weird parts of your clothes/anatomy?
InkWeaver: yeah
Zeiss Manifold: D=
InkWeaver: ...D=
Delcat: Find+replace "beach" with "this concert" and "sand" with "slowly congealing jizz".
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: *sob*

Quote:

Page 173

Zeiss Manifold: and that's pretty much the whole story right there
Delcat: The snare drums build to a crescendo, and the lights go down. There's a scream, a long moment of silence. The house lights go up. Exit, stage left.
InkWeaver: Wow.
InkWeaver: "HAAAAA"
Delcat: Also there is a dick growing out of that lady's eye.
InkWeaver: "HAAAAA"
InkWeaver: you know
InkWeaver: the lifeless cat eyes behind her
Delcat: OH MY GOD
Delcat: THE EYES
InkWeaver: is just the perfect backdrop
Delcat: I JUST REALIZED
InkWeaver: like what we're all feeling right now.
Delcat: THEY'RE THE SAME BUTTON EYES FROM THE HORRIBLE DOLL-RAPE SCENE IN VOLUME EIGHT OF BATTLE ROYALE
Delcat: AND I THINK THE DOLL-RAPE WAS LESS TRAUMATIZING
Zeiss Manifold: Button eyes?
InkWeaver: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, actually.
Zeiss Manifold: ARE YOU TELLING ME CORALINE IS GOING TO SHOW UP
InkWeaver: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
InkWeaver: SHE CAN'T BE DEFILED BY THIS MADNESS.

Zeiss Manifold: Alright guys we have less than ten pages left
Delcat: oh God I am so not ready for this
Delcat: I was born not ready for this
Zeiss Manifold: pffft you were on Gurochan earlier
Zeiss Manifold: shut up
InkWeaver: LESS THAN TEN PAGES?
InkWeaver: can we ask for a medal for this siht
InkWeaver: shit
Zeiss Manifold: when we're finished, son
Zeiss Manifold: let's get some sporking music going
Zeiss Manifold: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Zeiss Manifold: alright, now is everyone ready
Delcat: Did everyone...y'know...go?
Zeiss Manifold: i'm covered
InkWeaver: I don't want to have to turn this car around halfway through!
Zeiss Manifold: I SAID ARE YOU READY
Delcat: YES YES GO
Zeiss Manifold: WELL OKAY THEN
Zeiss Manifold: I'LL DO JUST THAT
Delcat: but be warned I get motion sick when riding dickgirls

Quote:

Page 174

Delcat: ...wait.
Delcat: Did we just...totally leave behind the catfucking?
Zeiss Manifold: we already had the full-page orgasm
InkWeaver: Seriously. I just ...
InkWeaver: This is beyond the realm of sense or caring.
InkWeaver: I am dispassionately reading these pages and then shrugging.
InkWeaver: They're sitting around naked.
Delcat: But...is nobody ever going to mention it again? Is it just going to BLAM itself away?
Zeiss Manifold: talking about bread
Zeiss Manifold: yep
Zeiss Manifold: everyone, on the count of three...
InkWeaver: BIG
InkWeaver: LIPPED
InkWeaver: ALLIGATOR
InkWeaver: MOMENT!
Delcat: LIPPED
InkWeaver: oh darn
InkWeaver: one more time
InkWeaver: BIG
Zeiss Manifold: B-BIG-LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT
Delcat: I thought we were trading off sorry here I go
Delcat: mmmmmmBIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT
InkWeaver: No I thought so too but then no one did anything and askdjfsklfjdsfklj
InkWeaver: yeah.
InkWeaver: the mmmm at the beginning is essential.
Delcat: Just big lipped alligators in general here is what we're saying folks
Zeiss Manifold: yep
Delcat : I feel like this page would make sense if I spoke Japanese, but I just don't care enough to try to figure it out.
Delcat: So what the hell is left?
Delcat: Another totally unrelated arc? Omake?
Zeiss Manifold: I think there's a 'buns' pun in that page somwhere
Zeiss Manifold: well let's see

Quote:

Page 175

Delcat: God, I want melon bread now.
InkWeaver: The only thing I care about at this point is whether or not we'll see if Ono's brain leaked out onto these pages.
Zeiss Manifold : HOLY
Zeiss Manifold: FUCKING
Zeiss Manifold: SHIT
Zeiss Manifold: ANAL JUSTICE 3
Zeiss Manifold: OR 1 AT LEAST
Zeiss Manifold: THE REDUX
Delcat: NOOOOOOO
InkWeaver: FLASHBACKS
InkWeaver: LIKE 'NAM
InkWeaver: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Zeiss Manifold: MINA, GET AWAY
InkWeaver: ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS BOOK
InkWeaver: ZEISS YOU HAVE TO BREATHE
InkWeaver: BREATHE, MAN
InkWeaver: CALM YOURSELF
Zeiss Manifold: alright alright already
InkWeaver: DELCAT, HELP ME HOLD HIM DOWN BEFORE HE HURTS HIMSELF.
Delcat: I'VE GOT FURRY HANDCUFFS WILL THEY HELP
Zeiss Manifold: i calmed down one post ago
Zeiss Manifold: geez
Delcat: TOO LATE IT'S BONDAGE TIME
Zeiss Manifold: ...are you guys planning to rape me
Zeiss Manifold: after all this
InkWeaver: It's not rape if you orgasm.
InkWeaver: ...right?!
InkWeaver: I'm gonna get stabbed
Delcat: Personally? No, of course not. That's what I hired those strapping young male prostitutes for.
Zeiss Manifold: You guys do know that Cyberwulf will probably read this in the future
InkWeaver: Yeah that's where the stabbing came from
InkWeaver: that was a bad joke
InkWeaver: but it wasn't a joke making fun of rape it was a joke making fun of misconceptions about rape
InkWeaver: DON'T HURT MEEEE
Delcat: Wait, didn't we agree on this beforehand?
Zeiss Manifold: I do like how even Ono himself sums up his work with BUTTSEX
Delcat: Zeiss, I have your signature on some papers here...
Zeiss Manifold: no you don't
Zeiss Manifold: that's my evil twin
Delcat: Yes I do
Zeiss Manifold: Meiss Zanifold
InkWeaver: GASP
InkWeaver: SHOCK
InkWeaver: MEISS
Zeiss Manifold: ...This form has the Chucky Cheese logo on it anyway
Delcat: Well, he'd better get his ass over here, I paid good money for those prostitutes.
InkWeaver: HOW WILL I KNOW WHICH ONE IS THE REAL YOU
Zeiss Manifold: Just shout "Meiss", geez
Delcat: Otherwise what am I going to use them f...oh wait I think I have an idea.
Delcat: ...were we doing something?
Zeiss Manifold: Del has a wonderful, horrible idea
Zeiss Manifold: okay now what

Quote:

Page 176

Delcat: A wonderful, horrible, jizz-covered idea!
Delcat: I'm going to have them do my laundry :D
Zeiss Manifold: is the page showing up for you guys?
Zeiss Manifold: OH MY GOD I'M ACTUALLY GLAD TO SEE THESE PEOPLE AGAIN
Delcat: I...I feel like I've been here before.
Zeiss Manifold: Nanao, Icchan...how can I forget them...
Delcat: Hello, girlcock, my old friend
InkWeaver: WAit a minute
InkWeaver: is Ono going all meta on us?
InkWeaver: NO ONO
InkWeaver: YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED
InkWeaver: THIS IS
InkWeaver: sdklfjdsklfjsdlfkj
InkWeaver: BRAINSPLOSIONNNN
Delcat: I've come to jizz with you again
Zeiss Manifold: Nanao Tachibana. Noted perverted high-school student. Tangled up in the cocks of progress.
InkWeaver: because a dickgirl softly creeping
InkWeaver: sprayed her seed while I was sleeping
Delcat: Because the hard-ons softly creeping
Delcat: Dang, you beat me to it while I was trying to remember how it went.
Zeiss Manifold: And the doo doo doo doo doo-doo doo doo doo doo cocks
Zeiss Manifold: something something cocks
Zeiss Manifold: In the balls...of silence
InkWeaver: beautiful, Zeiss.
InkWeaver: OR SHOULD I SAY MEISS
Zeiss Manifold: DAMN YOU
Zeiss Manifold: OR SHOULD YOU SAY
Zeiss Manifold: TOSHIHIRO ONO
Delcat: GASPY! Is...is it true?
InkWeaver: I THINK
InkWeaver: MY WORLD JUST IMPLODED
InkWeaver: well if that were true, that would be the funniest fucking thing ever.
InkWeaver: Like, if you really were Ono.
InkWeaver: Snarking your own fanfiction.
InkWeaver: er, manga.
InkWeaver: Like MADNESS
InkWeaver: .
Delcat: Didn't a Goosebumps book end like that?
Zeiss Manifold: I'll ask Meiss the next time I see him
Delcat: The one about the dickgirl porn?
InkWeaver: I think I read that one - oh wait no
InkWeaver: no
InkWeaver: that was about the kid's dad
InkWeaver: being a plant
InkWeaver: Don't Go in the Dickgirl
InkWeaver: or something

Quote:

Page 177

Delcat: Yeah, and in the end, HE was the tentacle monster.
Delcat: I--wait, was the robot cat maid in it? I don't remember a robot cat maid.
Zeiss Manifold: there wasn't one
Zeiss Manifold: it was probably another short or something
Delcat: Or he's padding his part.
Zeiss Manifold: also, I am hearing this narration in the voice of the Disney announcer guy
Delcat: "Robot maid girls! Kenonomimi! Mermaids! And a hundred elephants!"
Zeiss Manifold: I'm tempted to think the robot catmaid might be a joke
Zeiss Manifold: it's too stupid a premise even for Ono
Delcat: Zeiss?
Zeiss Manifold: yes?
Delcat: "Oh no, he's running out of cum! Let's fix it by letting him blow all of us!"
InkWeaver: I don't...
InkWeaver: Zeiss
Delcat: You mean too VANILLA a premise even for Ono.
InkWeaver: just post the next couple of pages in succession
InkWeaver: i have to understand where this is going
Zeiss Manifold: You wait your turn like everyone else

Quote:

Page 178

Zeiss Manifold: IT'S A GUNDAM
Zeiss Manifold: *is shot*
InkWeaver: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH
InkWeaver: BLAH BLAH FUCKING BLAH SHIT I DON"T CARE ABOUT I CAN'T EVEN BE FUNNY
Delcat: Somewhere, Harley raises her head to the wind and sniffs, eyes narrowing.
Zeiss Manifold: oh no
Zeiss Manifold: ...is that Lagann off to the side?

Quote:

Page 179

InkWeaver: let me tell you a secret
InkWeaver: secretly
InkWeaver: this entire time
InkWeaver: every time we snark
Zeiss Manifold: yes
InkWeaver: I've been fapping.
InkWeaver: Ono has unlocked the safe of my sexuality.
Zeiss Manifold: B-but...
InkWeaver: Like Pandora's dickgirl box.
Delcat: "...and that's the story of how Little Red Dickinghood fucked the wolf into submission. The end!"
Zeiss Manifold: I thought it was nice seeing Nanao and friends again
Zeiss Manifold: It's been so long
Delcat: God, there was a Little Red Riding Hood h-manga on /d/ tonight and it was pleasant and quaint compared to this.
InkWeaver: OMG
InkWeaver: WAIT
InkWeaver: WHAT
InkWeaver: DON'T
InkWeaver: TELL ME
InkWeaver: THAT THIS
InkWeaver: sdkjlfsdklfjsdkfj
InkWeaver: Guys.
InkWeaver: Guys
Delcat: Yes, Inky?
InkWeaver: Take Me to Ariake
Zeiss Manifold: no
InkWeaver: is just a story the two of them were reading.
Delcat: ...no.
InkWeaver: It's just a porn doujinshi
InkWeaver: from that same damn convention
InkWeaver: that they reference in Ariake
Delcat: BUT THEN
Delcat: AND HOW
InkWeaver: Ono is trying to pull some fucking meta shit on us.
InkWeaver: In fact, the random switchover?
InkWeaver: That's just them reading a different doujinshi.
InkWeaver: I seriously think that's what this is.
Delcat: ...BUT WHYYYYY.
Zeiss Manifold: THE JOY OF DICKGIRLS IS ALSO THE JOY OF REBIRTH
Zeiss Manifold: ONO PRESENTS: THE END OF ARIAKE
Delcat: YOU DAMN DIRTY APES
Delcat: WHYYYYYYY
Zeiss Manifold: Besides, Inky, look at that book.
Zeiss Manifold: It's the size of a paperback.
InkWeaver: Okay. I have to know.
InkWeaver: ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: I think manga like this are printed a bit bigger
InkWeaver: NEXT PAGE
InkWeaver: NOW

Quote:

Page 180

Delcat : you are rationalizing Zeiss
Delcat: you are rationalizing THE TERRIBLE TRUTH OF ARIAKE
InkWeaver: ...
Delcat: oh God it's all spiralling down the drain
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ..
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...
InkWeaver: ...I'm
Delcat: WE'VE GONE DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE
Zeiss Manifold: I think it's more like the end of Akira.
Zeiss Manifold: This whole book is just Ono's hallucinations after Tetsuo swallowed him
Delcat: The inexplicable anime ending or the triumphant manga ending?
Zeiss Manifold: the anime.
InkWeaver: never watched it.
Delcat: Yeah, there's nothing triumphant about it.
Delcat: the guy
Delcat: like explodes
Delcat: and says I AM ALIVE
Delcat: because they tried to cram six long volumes into ninety minutes
Zeiss Manifold: and it didn't work well
Zeiss Manifold: KINDA LIKE THIS
Delcat: and the only solution was for everyone to explode
Delcat: Is...IS this the end? Does it go on?
InkWeaver: I'm utterly defeated.
Delcat: ...are we going to explode?
InkWeaver: I snarked all that, and it wasn't even real
InkWeaver: WAIT WHAT AM I SAYING
InkWeaver: THANK GOD IT WASN'T REAL
InkWeaver: THANK GOD
Zeiss Manifold: THE LAST PAGE

Quote:

Page 181

Delcat: I'm afraid guys
Delcat: THE UNIVERSE
Delcat: I AM ALIVE
Delcat: *EXPLODES*
Zeiss Manifold: I
Zeiss Manifold: AM
Zeiss Manifold: ONO
InkWeaver: I
InkWeaver: I DON'T
Delcat: 99% of those pictures are of unsuspecting schoolchildren aren't they
InkWeaver: WHAT
InkWeaver: WHO
InkWeaver: HE TOOK PICTURES OF ELEMENTARY SCHOOL BUILDINGS
InkWeaver: PEOPLE IN PRISON WOULD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF HIM
Delcat: Would anyone care to join me in some communal fetal-position sobbing?
Zeiss Manifold: Well at least we got to see Icchan and Nanao agaGOD FUCKING DAMMIT
InkWeaver: I
InkWeaver: I
InkWeaver: I
Zeiss Manifold: FUCKING SHIT-ASS CHRIST-MUNGING CUNT PISS
Delcat: ZEISS YOU ARE GOING STOCKHOLM ON US
InkWeaver: *bursts into tears*
Zeiss Manifold: i'm sorry guys
InkWeaver: ZEISS IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT
Zeiss Manifold: i thought this would be like Anal Justice 2
InkWeaver: you couldn't haev knwon
Zeiss Manifold: and be all whimsical and stuff
Zeiss Manifold: and instead...
Zeiss Manifold: FUCK
Delcat: Fuck, man. Just...fuck.
InkWeaver: I'm...
InkWeaver: stunned.
InkWeaver: how are we even supposed to interpret this ending
InkWeaver: I don't...
InkWeaver: Was my theory right? I don't even know
Zeiss Manifold: I MEAN IT WAS JUST ONO BEING A GIANT FUCKING OTAKU ALL THE TIME
Delcat: Like a slaughterhouse cow when they hit it with the mallet stunned?
Zeiss Manifold: NO PLOT, NO CHARACTERS, NO NADA
Delcat: 'cause I think that's where I am right now too.
InkWeaver: moo.
Delcat: ...Zeiss?
InkWeaver: HOW
InkWeaver: DO WE EVEN END THIS SNARK
InkWeaver: THERE IS NO WAY
Zeiss Manifold: DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW I FEEL
Delcat: I KNOW
Delcat: Zeiss, we need to do the RAMchip thing.
Delcat: It is the only way.
Zeiss Manifold: I FEEL LIKE THIS
Zeiss Manifold: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Zeiss Manifold: NO NOT THAT
Zeiss Manifold: THIS
Zeiss Manifold: [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]
Delcat: ONLY THE TRADITION OF OUR FOREFATHERS CAN SAVE US NOW.
Delcat: MAKE US YOUR BOTS ZEISS
Zeiss Manifold: ...
Zeiss Manifold: I DON'T KNOW HOW
Delcat: ...okay, I'll play Joel.
InkWeaver: wat
InkWeaver: whoops
InkWeaver: I just said EWWW really loud at that pic
InkWeaver: and my roommate is sleeping XD
Delcat: Inky, if you can name one good thing and one bad thing about this manga, I'll give you a cookie.
Zeiss Manifold: well there are two more pages left, but they're the credits and translator's notes respectively
InkWeaver: good thing -
Delcat: And maybe also some therapy.
InkWeaver: Ono is good at scenery.
InkWeaver: bad thing -
InkWeaver: FUCKING FUCKITY DICKGIRLS FUCKING MINORS
Delcat: Good! *cookie*

Quote:

Credits

Delcat: Zeiss, your turn.
Zeiss Manifold: ...BOATS
Delcat: And the bad thing?
Zeiss Manifold: ...what they did on the BOATS
Delcat: Good! *cookie*
Zeiss Manifold: om nom nom
Delcat: I think we've learned a valuable lesson here, kids.

Quote:

Translator’s Notes

Zeiss Manifold: LOLIBANGBANG
Zeiss Manifold: I WILL KILL LOLIBANGBANG IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO
Delcat: Just think...just THINK how many HOURS they spent on this.
Zeiss Manifold: fuck it I AM GOING TO THEIR SITES AND LOOKING AT THE COMMENTS FOR THIS
InkWeaver: I AM NOT
InkWeaver: I NEED THE LAST REMAINING BIT OF MY SANITY
Delcat: By the by, I'm screaming on the inside. Just so's y'all know.
Delcat: it sounds like
Delcat: ABLOOBLOOBLOO
Delcat: ABLOOBLOOBLOOBLOO
Delcat: But guess what!
Zeiss Manifold: what
Delcat: Our next project has absolutely nothing to do with Ono!
Zeiss Manifold: i'm looking at the translator's site
Zeiss Manifold: even they have to admit that ono had to be on drugs for this stuff
Zeiss Manifold:
moonflow Says:
Oh
yes, this H-manga was really great! In spite of the fact that I’m
normally not too fond of dickgirls, this one is cute and those lolis
really something. Ah, I want one of this caliber, too!
Delcat: ...I AM DISAPPOINTED IN YOU INTERNET.
Zeiss Manifold: guys
Zeiss Manifold: guys
Zeiss Manifold: GUYS
Zeiss Manifold: i just realized
Zeiss Manifold: it's over.
Delcat: Is...is it gone forever?
Delcat: ...can we drink now?
Zeiss Manifold: Ono can't hurt us anymore.
Delcat: i need a hug.
InkWeaver: I...
InkWeaver: I need a hug too
Zeiss Manifold: *hugs*
InkWeaver: *hugs*
Delcat: *hugs*
Zeiss Manifold: This could be the start of something beautiful.
Delcat: Or the end of something godawful.
Zeiss Manifold: Well I'm going to get a healing shot of cream soda now
Delcat: I have to piss. With my beautiful, ordinary female genitalia.
Zeiss Manifold: TMI
Delcat: I AM REASSURING MYSELF
InkWeaver: LOLLLLL
Delcat: I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT SPROUTING A DICK
InkWeaver: Well
InkWeaver: if I had grown a dick since the last time I checked
InkWeaver: I would feel it right?
Delcat: I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE
Delcat: I guess that's a wrap.
Zeiss Manifold: I guess so.
Delcat: When do you guys want to start on the next project?
Zeiss Manifold: Inky? Are you still there?
InkWeaver: Soon
Delcat: Thanks for providing the raw material, Zeiss.
InkWeaver: I'm... here.
InkWeaver: Boggled, but here.
Zeiss Manifold: My...well, I can't say 'pleasure', but you know what I mean
Zeiss Manifold: And how is your childhood doing
Delcat: ...if I totally and completely separate it out in my
head, I ALMOST can't smell the blood dripping from its violated anus.
InkWeaver: ....
InkWeaver: I love you
InkWeaver: all of you
InkWeaver: let's get married
Zeiss Manifold: works for me
InkWeaver: YAY
Delcat: Can I wear the tux?
InkWeaver: YEAH
InkWeaver: Can I wear half a dress and half a tux?
Delcat: That would be awesome~
Zeiss Manifold: I am going to wear a chef's hat
Zeiss Manifold: 'cause I've always wanted too
InkWeaver: OH
InkWeaver: CAN I WEAR A FIG LEAF
InkWeaver: on my head
Delcat: Depends. What kind of fig?
InkWeaver: Iunno
InkWeaver: Iunno what kinds they have
InkWeaver: THE NEWTON KIND
Delcat: YES
Zeiss Manifold: I'm probably going to have to get to bed soon
Delcat: I'm probably going to have to curl into a ball and rue the day soon.
InkWeaver: LOL
InkWeaver: my crush is going home for the weekend
InkWeaver: I'm gonna be bored without him
InkWeaver: I'm lame
Zeiss Manifold: you survived Ariake
Zeiss Manifold: you're not lame
Delcat: I GUESS WE'LL JUST HAVE TO HAVE MORE LESBIAN SEX INKY
Zeiss Manifold: that takes strength
Zeiss Manifold: HEY CAN I JOIN IN WITH THE SEXXINGS
InkWeaver: pssst
Zeiss Manifold: I HEAR ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME
InkWeaver: Delly
Delcat: Zeiss, that took strength. Past tense. We are now dried husks of whimpering kittens.

EPILOGUE

Delcat: Oh...and Zeiss...
Delcat: ...since reading this and Anal Justice, I've been...been noticing things in the manga...
Zeiss Manifold: ...yes...
Delcat: ...like how everyone teases Ash about liking older girls and Misty liking younger boys...
Zeiss Manifold: ...
Delcat: ...like, pre-pubescent boys, and I thought it was a cute crush when I was twelve, and...
Delcat: ...curse you, Zeiss. Curse you and your children and your children's children.
Zeiss Manifold: haha i don't have any kids
Delcat: CURSE YOUR SPERM.
Zeiss Manifold: NOW THAT'S JUST WASTING CURSE POTENTIAL
Delcat: I dunno, cursing someone's sperm might actually be pretty badass.
Delcat: Like, make it all drippy green and smelling of durians.
Zeiss Manifold: that would actually be a cool superpower
Delcat: If I could curse someone, I would so do that.
Zeiss Manifold: like you could turn it into acid and stuff
Delcat: I'm actually convinced that all the experimentation Hojo did on Vincent turned his semen into acid
Delcat: And that is why he cannot ever be on top.
Delcat: When he shoots, he SHOOTS. Like through your SPINE.
Zeiss Manifold: so this is what girls think about
Delcat: Only if they're as lame as I am.
Zeiss Manifold: oh come on
Zeiss Manifold: most girls i know couldn't stand even one page of Ariake
Delcat: Although my girly-girl buddy and I once had a fandom conversation that ended in "So what this boils down to is dead guys give great head", so.
Delcat: Oh, I mean, like, fandom-lame. Dorky.
Delcat: ...but thank you<3

[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

TAKE ME TO ARIAKE!: END

You guys lived! Well done! Now have the neuralizer to wipe away the mem*flash*

...why does that girl have a penis?

On the aforementioned doll rape (probably NWS):

Spoiler:
	[You must be registered and logged in to see this image.]

...it's a long story.

Since it seems to be out of print, I'm working on scanning The Electric Tale of Pikachu to show Ono's...gentler side. It really is an extremely good little series, and at Zeiss' request, I'm posting the links to the MegaUpload as an antidote. Try it. You'll smile, you'll laugh...you'll notice the creepy little suggestions of his other work and cry...you'll drink and wonder how things went so terribly, terribly wrong...good times, good times.

I own three volumes and one issue out of the four-volume series. Volume 1 is fully scanned, cleaned and uploaded now, and the others will follow...well, hopefully soon, but it depends on school. This was published before manga really became the done thing, so it reads left to right. Links follow:

Volume 1, Issue 1
Volume 1, Issue 2
Volume 1, Issue 3
Volume 1, Issue 4

Enjoy.

I can't believe it's over. And it was all so DUMB.

/sobs brokenly

Next volume is ready. It includes the issue in which Misty gets a crush on a prepubescent boy. This was decidedly less creepy (although still kinda creepy) before reading Ono's other work. Even then, it didn't reach maximum creepiness potential until I went looking for information on the last volume and came across the original ending. CHILDHOOD. OFFICIALLY. DEAD.

As an added bonus, I found a picture of the founder of the feast. It's...about accurate.

Here's the next link set. I hope you all CHOKE.

Volume 2, Issue 1
Volume 2, Issue 2
Volume 2, Issue 3
Volume 2, Issue 4

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