I am German. Must I say more?

Sycorax
"I assure you: We don't eat Sauerkraut all the time and not many of us wear leather hosen."

I once got an e-mail from a fanfic writer who wanted to know what the weather was like in the United States. When I asked what time of year and what part, they responded that they thought it was always the same in the United States.

I once read a romance novel by a British novelist who portrayed all Americans as speaking like Ross Perot.

I once read a badfic where the author described the 14-hour flight between Phoenix and Los Angeles.

That's right. 14 hours.

It doesn't take that long to drive between Phoenix and Los Angeles. Hell, it doesn't take that long to fly between Los Angeles and London (yes, I've done it).

Holland and The Netherlands are one and the same. Their inhabitants are known as the Dutch, and they speak, taadaaaaa...Dutch

Kopenhagen is not the capital city of Holland. Neither is Holland the capital city of Norway.

The capital of the Netherlands is Amsterdam.

When Dutch people talk, they do not sound like Germans, the French, South Africans or Norwegians. They have a very distinct accent, which is very easily reproduced.

Not all Dutch people smoke weed like the Blue Caterpillar.

The Dutch didn't have slaves. They are, however, responsible for getting the slaves from Africa to their new involuntary homes.

Some quick notes on how the English drink tea, since it seems to be impossible to get a good cup of tea in fanfic:
-Tea is usually drunk with milk. Some people have sugar. It is customary to ask if people take sugar before making their tea.
-If tea is not drunk with milk, it will usually contain a slice of lemon. People who take their tea this way are usually pretentious.
-Never have lemon and milk. It's an either/or thing.
-Most people do not use a teapot--this is usually restricted to old people, or "homey" sorts. Usually tea is served in a mug.
-If a teapot is used, the rule is one teabag per person, and one "for the pot".
-When making tea in a mug, the water goes in first. Putting the milk in first results in horribly weak tea.
-Furthermore "milk-in-firsts" are generally subjected to ridicule. They are people who think they are more posh than they are.

'nother Californian here who agrees with all Lady Anne's points.

Would like to add that there is a difference between Northern CA and Southern CA, it gets colder in the North, there is frost during winter, and for some horrible reason, it hails. Rarely, yes, and very small stones, yes, but I've seen
hail here more than once. And smeyer, you can get excellent Mexican food in the North any time.

...yes, I read twilight when I was small and the line about "probably nearest good Mexican food is in Southern CA lololol" just bothered me okay

Not everybody in the UK is an middle-class snob from London.

The UK is not America's little pet. Well, the government may be, but the citizens are NOT. If you think you can win an argument by telling anybody from the UK that America saved Britain in WW2, they'll probably punch you in the face just for all that ignorance you're displaying.

And it won't be 'fisticuffs'. Nobody in the UK believes in fisticuffs.

I'm kinda glad writers don't ask me about Australia, because it's my duty as an Aussie to tell as many tall tales as possible.

So basically, anything you hear on the internet about Australia is false. And at the same time, very, very true.

more like arse-tralia amirite

dear writers there are communist left wing american rednecks plz to be including us

i'm p. sure you can order them and have them shipped???

Ooh! Ooh! Some atrocities I've read in fanfics about the land I'm supposed to be from:

-Brazil's population is comprised only of black people. And they ALL act like slaves.
-All women walk around naked, are black or, possibly, if the author has somehow heard the term before, mulatas and somehow manage to dance samba while they walk.
-All we ever do is drink beer and dance samba.
-We celebrate the Carnaval 24/7 (this isn't even true in Bahia)
-Brazil's only states are Río de Janeiro, São Paulo and Bahía.
-There is a Brazilian west coast.
-Baia.
-Every Brazilian knows how to play soccer. In fact, Brazil doesn't have doctors, engineers, teachers, nothing. ONLY soccer players.
-Brazilians live in tree-houses and go to school on vines. I KID YOU NOT. I READ THIS.

As a final note, I'd like to add WE DO NOT HAVE A FUCKING WEST COAST, GOD DAMN IT!!

That is all.