Yet another thread revival.

A good title and summary draw you into a story, make you have to read it. Bad ones, on the other hand, attract attention for all of the wrong reasons. Take these charming examples:

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A Special Gift by Breon Briarwood reviews Set later in my 'universe'. The House of Telcontar receives a very special Yule gift. MPreg! Don't like it? Don't read it(These ficlets will eventually become one story)

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Can't win 'em all by Amy and Kir reviews I luv Lego. Two elven girls (me and my friend) fall for Lego, and he finds himself with a hard choice.

Which one to kill first?

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Fellowship by yamiangie reviews Poem

The author's creativity is really showcased here.

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Through Darkness and Shadow by pyrofaeri12041 reviews Legolas's sister Ari emerges half-elf half-nazgul after the battle of Pellanore Fields. Aragorn's half brother emerges from hiding after being found as a servant of Sauron. How do these two fit together? Reads better than it sounds, I swear.

...
Troll? Please?

So, post the bad titles/summaries that you find and snark them.

Garo 'lass!

The trick to finding a bad summary it to look up the word "suck". Because people still think that telling you in their summary that they suck at summaries, is going to endear you to their quality of writing.

If you can't write a decent summary, how can I expect you to write a decent fanfic?

Best summary ever:

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This story sucks. Read and review.

Best title:

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Untitled

And the summary with it?

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?

There was a fanfic entitled "Shadow Rapes Matthias". Also one entitled "Ash And Anabel Have Sex". 'Nuff said about both the content and the quality in both cases, I feel.

Whenever I wanna find GA titles/summaries, I just go to the Naruto section of the Pit and it's like I've struck gold.

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Oh yes! Sakura's a cheerleader. Sasuke's an ass... and player. This is a SasuSaku story... with lots of Highschool drama and such. This will get very interesting, ne? MINOR ShikaIno, NaruHina, NejiTen

The title of this cliche fic is "Typical High School Drama". With the craptastic title, cliche summary, and terrible main pairing, I'm completely convinced that it won't be "very interesting".

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Who could have done this?

You did, obviously.

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I put a summary inside, but you will get what that story is about when you read it. There is a slight lime/lemon... but nothing big.

You know, you'll actually get people to pay attention to your shitfic if you post the summary where the summary is supposed to go, as opposed to "inside".

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i just found this and decided to cut only the lemon part

I can't figure out if he/she found someone else's fic and decided to rewrite it, or found his/her own fic. And what makes this even funnier is the fact that the title is "cut lemon".

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What if...Naruto...was actually...

Actually what? A decent character with a pleasant voice? Because that would actually be interesting.

And then I peeked at the reviews and saw that it was one of those "What if Naruto was actually a girl?" fics.

Then I decided to look up summaries with the word "suck" in them and it got even better.

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The Battles soon to begin. I SUCK A SUMMARYS

And at spelling, obviously.

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my First fanfiction and it sucks please in enjoy though contains TF and MG

Well, if you tell everyone that it sucks before they even start to read it, why would you think anyone would enjoy it?

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I suck at summary's so just read and injoy. or now, i dont know. Review please.

Injoy? Too bad this isn't the Pokemon fandom, because I could make a few jokes about that.

And now, for the shortest and worst summary I've ever seen before.

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o.O

:roflmao:

While we're on the subject of summaries that don't tell us anything about the story, here's some more.

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Galalaea: Volume I by Mindelan reviews A first volume in the Galalaea volumes... R&R!

The odd thing about this is that I'm more bothered by their misuse of English determinates than the fact that the title and the summary say the same thing.

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Fairy by Vampire-Gothic-Lady-Arparma reviews this is a poem that i think fairy lovers will like

Oh really?

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The Mermaid and the Fairy by tish-111 reviews We aren't really good at summary's but the story is good so please read and review! Better Summery inside! plz read

The title tells us more about the story than the summary!

And the sort of summary that leaves you begging it to be a troll:

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fast times at fellowship high by annoying girl reviews legolas and the hobbits go to high school with me and my friends.aragorn is the school bully. yea that means they are all alot younger.the first chapter is just about me and my friends arriving at school. frodo is my boyfriend!

Ah, how can we forget these classics...

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Just read the damn thing already!!

You know, summaries are put there to entice the reader to read it.

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I don't want to spoil it for you!

Well, can't you just give a simple overview of what happens, which is what a summary is?
IIRC this one was on a Naruto fic.

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Damn, I need a new pair of underwear

Guess where I found this one. Hint: This line occurs in random places throughout the fic. What was that famous GAFF quote?

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One hand descends into the pants, and all reason flies out the window.

(I think that's close, but not right.) :viley:


Oh, and I just ran across this one in the K-ON! fandom:

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LOLZ! I DONE WROTE A FIC!! XD!!

Maybe it's just me, but I don't think smilies belong in a summary. Not only that, but also we've got the capslock of doom here.

It is ten to five in the morning here. I am still awake because I have been trawling the Supernatural section of the Pit. There is some absolute bullcrap there, let me tell you.

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What happens when in the middle of hunting Dean gives birth? My mpreg version of “A very supernatural Christmas.” WARNING: MPREG, SLASH.

I imagine it's massively impractical for everyone involved, to say the least.

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What happens when a two year old Dean escapes his dippair? One Shot PLEASE R&R

Something ensues, no doubt. It's probably hilarity, of some kind. I'd be able to tell better if I knew what the hell a dippair was.

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what happens immediatley after the last episode of season 1? WARNING SPOILERS FOR ENTIRE SERIES 1

Pretty sure it's an ad break.

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He dies. Dean

I suppose I can't really fault it. It has, indeed, summarized the story. So well that I didn't read it.

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Dean needs help getting over Cassie. recommomend reading this fic twice

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Sam and Dean have gone hunting in the Colorado wilderness, leaving Megan alone. She insists that she will be fine but when the brothers return, she is gone. It is best that you have been reading the stories Just Peachy and Megan's Revenge first. Thanx!

Stop asking me to do these things. What the hell did I ever do to you? Leave me alone.

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[OneShot] Dean told Jo he would call her. Little did she know he would do the next best thing. AU. DeanJo.

...Text? Email? Twitter?

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When Dean Winchester shows up asking if you know the whereabouts of his brother, who’s been kidnapped by hunters, the first thing you might want to do is take his weapons and run. Warning: DARK!

This one makes me smile. I would just love to see you trying to remove weapons from a pissed-off Dean Winchester. I really would.

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It was a dark and stormy night,Snoopy typed. Woodstock wondered, 'But where are the brothers? And who is that person? Is she good? Is she evil'

I just had to check that I was still in the Supernatural section. I was. And my shock was infinite when I noticed this story had no reviews.

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Dean and Sam meets the actress Miley Cyrus, a sixteen year old nymphoman who wants to have sexual intercourse with the brothers at the same time. IS DEAN A PEDOPHILE? Dirty oneshot. R&R!

*stares*

...

*stares*

...

Fuck this, I am going to bed.

B-but... I made this thread already!

LOL? More like RIST(run in screaming terror).

In the Yugioh GX section, there is a fic with this lovely title:

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Huh!

And this one:

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A Secret Rich Angel

Unfortunately, since the fandom is relatively small and I've been there pretty much from the beginning, I'm well-acquainted with both of these fics. And they're not much better than their titles.

I just saw this summary in the Titanic section of FanFiction.net:

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Hannah Thomas has always done what's best for her family. Including agreeing to marry Richard Grayson, who can guarantee her family's security. When she meets Tommy Ryan aboard the R.M.S. Titanic, can he convince her that being perfect isn't everything?

What is Robin doing aboard the Titanic?

He and Batman went back in time to save it from hitting the iceberg?

I think I may actually write a story about nymphoman. The superhero/villian who goes around having sex with everything.

The Adventures of Nymphoman...cumming soon to a site near you.