Or, "How did they let you on TV, again?"
The show at hand may be good, the premise is interesting, the content is watchable, but goddamn, the host makes you want to do something violent to your television and/or speaker set. I try not to let television personalities ruin the entire show for me, but when they're on every episode, you become incredibly skilled at using the DVR remote.

Mary Murphy, one of the judges on So You Think You Can Dance. Good god, someone make this woman shut up. I don't care how much ballroom experience she has. In professional sports, your opinion of the performance can be summarized with a fraction of ten. There is absolutely no need to scream yourself hoarse after every single performance. Shut up. Just... shut up.

Ryan Seacrest, from American Idol. I can never tell if this guy is constantly stalling for time, or if everything that comes out of his mouth is just as dull and uninteresting.

Lastly, I'd mention all of Fox News, but that'd just be shooting fish in a barrel.

Dude, what's the point? Billy Mays is already dead.

Although the dude who hosts Unwrapped pisses me off. It's weird, because I totally support him for fighting his OCD through hosting Double Dare and I understand he was good on that, it just...I wanna punch him in the THROAT when he does that smug little "I made a funny" face. Maybe it's the writers.

I used to dislike Mike Rowe, but he seriously grew on me. Still enjoy seeing him getting grunged, though.

Jeremy fucking Kyle. The man is just horrible. I hate his smug face. I hate the way he is horrible to his guests. I hate the way he thinks he is always right. I just want to punch him so hard.

I also totally hate Cheryl Cole, but I think we're sending her off to your side of the pond so I won't have to listen to her nails-down-a-blackboard accent and watch her crocodile tears anymore.

I hate that one judge, Bruno, from Dancing With the Stars. He always says the most nonsensical shit! Seriously!

Ty Pennington - Do they give this guy 10 cans of Red Bull before turning the cameras on?

Andy Rooney - Yes, I know he's a living legend at CBS. But lately his "cranky grandpa" routine is wearing thin.

Keith Olberman - Because the guy is basically Bill O'Reilly, only left wing.

Any MTV Host - Because their personalities range from 'bland' to 'annoying'.

Why hasn't anyone mentioned Jillian Barbarie? Her bimbo act is as phoney as a three-dollar bill.

Katie Couric & Matt Laure/Lowr/however you spell it.

I mean, if aliens began abducting hundreds of people from Rockafeller plaza, they would still cover "How to use your dog to attract older women" or some similarly unimportant topic.

Chris Matthews. He was dead to me anyway, but any supposedly objective journalist who talks openly about getting tingly thrills down his leg over the president . . . yyyeah. Not so much.

It is my goal in life to shoot Paul Shaffer in the face.

The Canadian sportscaster Brian Williams, not to be confused with the American journalist of the same name. A classic example of his annoyingness came during the Nagano Olympics, where he made a comment about the pronunciation of Nagano, making it sound like the Japanese had changed the pronunciation to annoy him, instead of the Japanese actually correcting our Western mangling of their language.

Dr. Phil. I'm not sure what it is that makes me want to whack him one upside the head with a baseball bat, I just do.

Oprah Winfrey. Yes, I have blasphemed. Yes, I know she's supposed to be a representative of all women everywhere, but she is not now, nor has she ever been, a representative of me. Give me Ellen Degeneres any day.