Why, God, Why did you write those author notes!?

This thread will explore some of the stupid things authors write outside of the fic itself, but tack on somewhere just because.
One thing that seems to turn out bad invariably is a conversation between the author and the characters. Here's one example (These aren't the exact words, but the gist is the same. IIRC it comes from the Naruto fandom.)

Author: So you didn't mind that I had you killed in the story?
Sakura: Oh no, not at all.
Author: And you didn't mind that my original character [read: very obvious Mary Sue] started to date Sasuske?
Sakura: Not at all. He snored loudly anyway.
It went on like that.

Another thing I really don't need to know is how fascinated you are with a character. :tmi:
I really don't care how TEH SMECKSY you think Spike Spiegel is. Telling me that up front lets me know that I'm going to have to come here after reading the fic. I also don't care how much you hate a charcter either. If you don't like a character, simply DO NOT WRITE ABOUT THAT CHARACTER.

So, what's some of the things in author's notes that really irritate you?

Contributor Join date: 2009-06-10 Location: computer chair

Any time that an author's note appears inside the text. Like:

Tony and Sara walked faster down the pathway singing (A/N: Aren't they so KYOOT) tra la la.

Any author's notes that are longer than the actual chapter. Ex: shout-outs to each of 200 individual reviewers. That's what review reply is for, people. One or two lines is okay, but when it's half a page long, it's time to stop.

Link's Queen.

'Nuff said.

Whether it's in a summary or an authors note, it still really irritates me when they say "excuse the mistakes, I did not do much research" or things to that effect.

If you don't care to invest time refining your story, why inflict it on us?!?

Shitgobbling pissdrinker Join date: 2009-06-10 Age: 22

My three greatest pet peeves of author's notes pet peeves are thus:

1) Author's note in the middle of the story: these are usually there just for the author to go "lolwut Ed and Al are up to somethin' dur dee huurrr" in the middle of the fic for no fucking reason in particular. Really should be stuff that should be tacked before or after the story begins. If they even belong at all.

2)Author's note that "bleeds through" the fic: It's kinda hard to explain. Basically it's an author's note that you almost wouldn't even know it was one until you realized that the statement seemed really left field of the entire fic. I'm just going to make up an example because I'm too lazy to look up any fic that has this problem. Honestly, seperators. Use them please; it's not like you're going to catch the clap from using them.

Quote:

...for he was too preoccupied with the strange figure he glanced at from the corner of his eye. So what do you think of chapter one so far?

3) paragraph(s)-long author notes telling about their day/reason why they didn't update in x months: Yes, I know that trip to Cancun was really awesome for you and the scenery was great and all but...what the fuck does this have to do with your fic? To be as brutally honest as possible, I don't give a shit about your personal life. A damned "I was on vacation" would've sufficed!

Any author note that has a conversation in it rattles my cage. Whether it's between the characters in the fic, conveniently pulled out of said fic to rant OoC, the author and the characters, or the author and one of her air-headed friends.
Razz

(author)

(squeeing retard friends)

When half or more of the conversation is conducted in Japringlish Kawiish I really feel like not only flaming but blowing up, burning to the ground, razing the ground and then pouring acid over the remains.

kleine_kat wrote:

Any author note that has a conversation in it rattles my cage. Whether it's between the characters in the fic, conveniently pulled out of said fic to rant OoC, the author and the characters, or the author and one of her air-headed friends.
Razz

(author)

(squeeing retard friends)

When half or more of the conversation is conducted in Japringlish Kawiish I really feel like not only flaming but blowing up, burning to the ground, razing the ground and then pouring acid over the remains.

You know, I was just coming in here to post almost the exact same thing.

Seriously, it's irritating to click on a fanfic, only to have three paragraphs of author's notes, including retarded conversations between the author and whoever the fuck the author wants to "torture".

And something even more annoying than retarded conversations is author's notes to translate Japanese during a fanfic. There was a YGO fic I read a few years ago where half of it was written in English and half in Japanese. Sometimes, it switched mid-sentence. The author was continuously putting in author's notes to tell us exactly what was being said and it was obvious that it made her feel really smart and special. Rolling Eyes

But the one thing that pisses me off more than anything is author's notes used as a disclaimer of sorts. Like, if they don't know how to spell something or clearly didn't do their research, they stick in an author's note to tell us so, as if it'll keep everyone from saying anything about it.

NO NOT THE BEEEEES Join date: 2009-06-12 Age: 27

Authors notes at the top or the bottom are all very well - I'd be a hypocrite to refuse them. After all, you can hastily scroll past them, or you can check them because they might actually be entertaining or have something important in them.

I'd rather the author kept any conversation with characters to a minimum though - if you're going to have authors notes they should be USEFUL. Like the old excuse about how if you don't like whatever, bugger off now.

But when they're INSIDE the fic, totally crushing the atmosphere, it fills me with despair. I'm just getting into the story, when I'm interrupted by a comment; somebody says "Oh, I don't know if this is right, please excuse it."

Well, maybe I could excuse it, but like FUCK am I gonna excuse your AN that just drew my attention to it.

Or when the first chapter is one big author's note dedicated to introducing you to the Sue. THAT'S WHAT A STORY IS FOR, DIMWITS, USE IT.

Raine wrote:

Or when the first chapter is one big author's note dedicated to introducing you to the Sue. THAT'S WHAT A STORY IS FOR, DIMWITS, USE IT.

Even worse, when it's the fooking character sheet for the Sue/army of Sues. Blech.

NO NOT THE BEEEEES Join date: 2009-06-12 Age: 27

In-Fic character sheets. Now there's something I could do without. Can't you write the character sheet into the story WITHOUT making it a bio?

Sporkbender Join date: 2009-06-10 Location: Washington DC

Actually, character sheets in written fiction need to go DIAF.

Miraba wrote:

Actually, character sheets in written fiction need to go DIAF.

Oh, but then how would the audience know just how TEH SPESHUL the ~~obvious Sue/Stu~~ original character is?

quamp wrote:

Miraba wrote:

Actually, character sheets in written fiction need to go DIAF.

Oh, but then how would the audience know just how TEH SPESHUL the ~~obvious Sue/Stu~~ original character is?

They could try to show, instead of tell.

Wait, we're talking about fanbrats here. They have to tell us everything about their Sue/Stu so we can bask in their awesomeness. Rolling Eyes

Which reminds me of another author's notes thing I can't stand. I hate when they include "Ask if you wanna borrow my OC" in their notes. How delusional does an author have to be to think that someone would actually want to use their OC instead of creating their own?

One particularlly bad story I found recently used the first chapter, instead of a character sheet for the Gary Stu, as a blank character sheet soliciting readers to submit their own Mary Sue to put in the story alongside him.

Yeah...

Sporkbender Join date: 2009-06-11

Inciter wrote:

Which reminds me of another author's notes thing I can't stand. I hate when they include "Ask if you wanna borrow my OC" in their notes. How delusional does an author have to be to think that someone would actually want to use their OC instead of creating their own?

What fascinates me is how they have no problem using (or brutally and cruelly abusing) someone else's OC's -- which, after all, is what canon characters are to their own creators -- but they don't want someone to do unto them as they have done unto others.

One of the things on my list of stuff to do when I have time is to pick some fandom where I know the rights owners dislike fanfic, find some suitable crapfic with such an author's note, and then write fanfic about it (complete with a Mary Sue to out-Sue their Sue) just to watch the hypocritical fanbrat go ballistic. If you happen to see a good target, please let me know.

Sporkbender Join date: 2009-06-11 Age: 22

I remember this one author note I found in this Power Rangers/Harry Potter crossover fic I read:

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A/N: Should I stop here??? Huh? Huh? Should I? You know what, I think I should. I mean a little more torture wouldn’t hurt right? Okay. Since we’re all in agreement, I’ll start my usual end of chappie speech. Eh hem... Well, I’d like to thank all my reviewers for still supporting this story. I’d like to also take a chance to congratulate Enigmaforum for winning the Best Author on the recent PRMF AWARDS!! And also I want to wish her a very belated HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Anyway… next chappie will be up soon… so, wait for it… Oh yeah, don’t forget to watch the ‘continuation’/new Heart Divided Trailer on youtube!!

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A/N: You know… I’m not that evil… Anyway, I owe you guys for being sooooooooooooo patient with this story… so, here’s the continuation…. ENJOY!! Oh yeah... this takes place a few days later… Oh, and in case you missed my first explanation at the top, this is TWO years after the final battle/Nick left. This makes it like, almost a year after Maddie and Xander got together. Okay… enough of my rambling... Go on… read… go… go… shoo...

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And This is Why I Need Medication Join date: 2009-06-11

Inciter wrote:

Which reminds me of another author's notes thing I can't stand. I hate when they include "Ask if you wanna borrow my OC" in their notes. How delusional does an author have to be to think that someone would actually want to use their OC instead of creating their own?

I actually had someone do that to me once. Not that I put anything about asking me if you wanted to use them, because I couldn't see why anyone would possibly want to use someone elses OCs, but I had an author write me and want to know if she could borrow the three OCs I'd created for a fairly long story I wrote (part of a series, actually). I told her no, they were my characters and I'd put quite a bit of time and thought into creating them, at which point she informed me she was going to use them any way and there was no way I could stop her, so nyah nyah nyah! Which made me wonder why she bothered to ask in the first place.

I was no longer writing in the fandom at that time, but several friends of mine who still were later told me she basically rendered them unrecognizable (except for their names), and then killed them for the angst factor. Which pissed me off a bit.

Inciter wrote:

Which reminds me of another author's notes thing I can't stand. I hate when they include "Ask if you wanna borrow my OC" in their notes. How delusional does an author have to be to think that someone would actually want to use their OC instead of creating their own?

It happens though. I don't put that sentence in my fics, but I've had two cases where people have asked to use my OCs. I find it really quite bizarre. Most of the fun for writing OC fanfiction is creating the characters, so why the hell would someone pass up that chance?

Armbiter of Good Fanfiction Join date: 2009-06-11 Age: 36

I hate author notes in the middle of a sentence or a story. Before or after is okay.
I also hate when the person replies to each individual review. We don't need to know that you agree or don't agree with your reviewers. I don't read every review of a fic. I generally glance at them to get a good idea of how others feel about the fic, if it's something I might want to read or something to avoid.
These are not difficult concepts. Published fiction doesn't always have author's notes and when it does, it's usually at the end and usually adds something to the story, a brief note on research or something like that, plus maybe a note about the next book if it's a series.
If only fanbrats could learn from the pros.

Sporkbender Join date: 2009-06-11

There's one flaw in that logic: In order to learn from the pros, fanbrats would have to read the pros.

It's fairly obvious from their writing that not only don't they read good literature, most of them can barely read. I can envision them struggling through the pages, sounding out all the big words. When they do read, it's usually someone else's equally bad fanfic. How many LotR crapfic writers have we seen who said something like "well, I watched the movies four times, so I know I'm right" ... but barely (if at all) know that the LotR Trilogy even exists, let alone any of the other books? Yeah.

Raine wrote:

Inciter wrote:

Which reminds me of another author's notes thing I can't stand. I hate when they include "Ask if you wanna borrow my OC" in their notes. How delusional does an author have to be to think that someone would actually want to use their OC instead of creating their own?

It happens though. I don't put that sentence in my fics, but I've had two cases where people have asked to use my OCs. I find it really quite bizarre. Most of the fun for writing OC fanfiction is creating the characters, so why the hell would someone pass up that chance?

What's really weird is when someone wants to borrow someone else's Mary Sue. Why do you want to borrow someone else's self-insert? It's like borrowing a used tampon.

Lady Anne wrote:

Raine wrote:

Inciter wrote:

Which reminds me of another author's notes thing I can't stand. I hate when they include "Ask if you wanna borrow my OC" in their notes. How delusional does an author have to be to think that someone would actually want to use their OC instead of creating their own?

It happens though. I don't put that sentence in my fics, but I've had two cases where people have asked to use my OCs. I find it really quite bizarre. Most of the fun for writing OC fanfiction is creating the characters, so why the hell would someone pass up that chance?

What's really weird is when someone wants to borrow someone else's Mary Sue. Why do you want to borrow someone else's self-insert? It's like borrowing a used tampon.

Your simile made me giggle.

I have a theory it's because of Speshul Snowflake Syndrome. The fanbrats believe their Sue is the dog's bollocks, and they cannot comprehend how anyone else would see it differently.

I hate author's notes in which the author threatens to hold the story hostage till s/he gets more reviews. I understand the thrill of getting new reviews and the disappointment when there are only a few, or none, when you poured your heart and soul into the fic. But you shouldn't write fanfic just for reviews; you should write it because you enjoy writing it and want to tell a story.

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Why, God, Why did you write those author notes!?

Why, God, Why did you write those author notes!?

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