Alternate title: What the fucking hell did I just read? This should probably come with a NSFW label, as well as a general brain-burning warning.


Now, maybe I'm in the minority here, but I love me some good trollfic. Anything witty, underhanded or slightly off color usually makes me chuckle, and I think that writing good trollfic does take some degree of ability. Part of the humor, I find, comes from the author maintaining the pretense that they are serious about whatever they're writing, no matter how outlandish it gets. I should have to question whether or not what I'm reading is trollfic. On the other end of the spectrum, you have authors who write shitty fic and think it's funny simply because it's shitty. And the scum squishing beneath the shoes of those authors are the ones who clearly want to write some kind of nasty, kinky or questionably legal shit but don't want to own up to it, so they try to mask it as "trollfic." For example, this just popped up on my LJ flist. Summary:

Quote:

Caillou learns how to love with a litle help from his familye and pets.

You really expect me to believe that you can spell "Caillou" correctly, but you can't spell "family"? Come on. Clicking on the link leads to a bolded wall o' text. Which could be the fault of FF.net, but I'm not feeling particularly generous with this POS author.

Quote:

Caillou was excited. His babysitter, Julie, was coming over to watch him tonight. He never understood why, but Julie always gave him a strange stiring in his shorts.

The first line reads like the opening to a low budget porno script. But wait, there's a spelling error not even an idiot would make, so the author must be joking!! LOLOL

Quote:

To his great joy, there stood his big boobed blond babysitter

Say that one four times fast. Bigboobedblondbabysitterbigbooblondblalalala... Keep in mind Caillou is supposed to be 4.

Quote:

He wrapped his tiny arms around her thick mostly bare thighs (she was wearing a dress with a skirt that barely covered her tight ass) and squeezed, his face pressed to her pussy. The girl gasped then chuckled, getting slightlky moist.

Wow, this is getting into the realm of disgusting kiddie porn, BUT WAIT there's that one spelling error to reassure us that the author is JUST JOKING GAIZ!!

Quote:

"Julie?" "Yes sugar pop?" She replied as she took him up to his bedroom. "You make me feel….. funy..…" Julie smiled to herself. "Funy how?" She set him on bed and sat next to him. "Funy in my peepee." He said folding his hands over his lap as he felt it get stiffer. "Caillou would you like me to make you feel good?" He looked at her with a broad smile. "Pretty please!" That's right, beg for it. She thought. Her pussy already dripping with excitement. She pulled the little boy into her lap and kissed him softly on the mouth. She pulled back. "How that make you feel?"

You can pretty much see where this is going, and I'm not going to quote the rest of it. Oddly enough, the grammar and sentence structure mistakes pretty much disappear once the author gets into the hot-teenage-babysitter-on-toddler sex, but there are just enough spelling mistakes to reassure us that that the author is attempting to be funny. This is srsly actually trollfic gaiz! Fur realz! I'm not fapping to this shit at all!!!!


...So basically you wrote rape-fic about a four year old cartoon child, then threw in a few spelling and grammar mistakes and attempted to pass it off as trollfic. I'm not laughing. I just feel icky.

Why would anyone, troll or not, want to write a fanfic based on a kiddie show, and a smut fic at that?

Maybe they were aiming for an unfilled hole in the market?

I admit I, too, find myself disturbed by the mindset of a person who looks at a show about family and relationships and thinks, "You know what this needs? Caillou getting to hump a hot babysitter."

I mean, we've seen worse, but this just makes me want to back away slowly from the toddler porn.

I'm personally tired of all the "My Immortal" clones, except maybe that Twilight one because the concept amuses me for some reason. (shrug) I think trollfics are funnier if at least a few people take them seriously and I really don't expect anyone to fall for that setup anymore. And yet they keep popping up here.

Maybe I'm just bitter that my trollfcs haven't been posted here yet

The second chapter is even worse. I'm not going near either of my cats for weeks!

EDIT: I left a snarky review. The author doesn't seem to have been active for a while, since that piece of crap is his/her only story, updated last year.

Reported. Poor Gilbert.

All the real good trollfics are things that get funnier with the bad writing, but the raw nonsense of the story stands on its own as well.

Slapping some self-effacing "meta" jokes in a mediocre story doesn't cut the mustard.

Adultfanfiction.net's moderation team is quite different to what it was a few years back, trolls get reported? They get deleted. And Mocked:

http://www2.adultfanfiction.net/forum/index.php/topic/11287-da-solution/

The author's here:
http://dasolution.blackapplehost.com/

So, if ya spot any there and want to see them get troll-smashed, report 'em. Unless you think it's my troll, in which case don't.

Meh, some trolls are okay. But there's enough bad fanfiction on various sites without adding more.

I'm really sorry about that, as I was only aiming that at the author and nobody else. Sorry to all the members here who still watch children's shows. I guess I just don't understand, not having kids at all and not wanting any.

I can respect your opinions, and understand you're not braindamaged. So sorry!

This is unrelated to anything, but recently I read an old thread and thought, shame that Cactus Wren seems to be gone; and here you are.

[/thread hi-jack]

PS AM I GODAWFUL TROLL?!?!?!?!

http://www.fanfiction.net/u/1144819/An_Angry_Chocobo

(the answer is yes)

You are missing on my Facebook f-list, that's what you are.

Probably because my facebook has my actual real identity, which trolls (or semi-trolls, or whatever I am now) are generally in the business of not revealing.

Non-trolls have separate facebooks for their internet lives. I myself only have one because having two is annoying. As if one wasn't annoying enough.

True. But I only have one faceboob and it has my real identity, so...

Yes, I figured that's what you'd say. Because setting up a second one is hard and also against ToS and most people wouldn't want to break Facebook rules...