Well apparently I'm not the only person that feels this way about particular words that can be misused in the extreme to paint a picture of purple prose that would gag the worst purple offender in literary fiction. I've spotted here and there people (including at WORA) that roll their eyes in agreement that some words are just. too. purple. Especially in groups, but I find it equally annoying for an otherwise regular-sounding paragraph to just suddenly and randomly have a word in it that doesn't seem to match.

Take for instance, a harmless-sounding word like "moue". It occurs in some novels. Besides the fact that it sounds like a bovine vocalization, what's wrong with it? Well it basically means the same thing as a pout, which I think is a far better sounding word. Ever had a word that annoyed the crap out of you because it sounded 'wrong' or just plain off? To me, "moue" is one of those words. It should be used as little as possible, IMO. It ranks up there in my books with "limpid pools of aquamarine moonlight" when describing someone's eyes, or something like that.

How about some other fancy schmancy words that when strung together in a line, make one want to vomit violently in the corner upon reading?

'Alabaster' anything. This is one of those words that does not mean what you think it means. Most people use it to mean someone with flawless white skin. However, alabaster comes in colors other than white (black alabaster is very rare and thus highly prized). Nor is it naturally flawless-the lack of flaws is due to the way it's worked-in its normal state, alabaster tends to look a lot like your average rock. The chiseling and polishing is what makes it smooth.

The main thing about alabaster, however, is that, like marble, unless warmed, it's naturally cold to the touch.

So when you say your lover has flawless Alabaster skin, you're basically saying they look like a statue; nice to stare at, but you probably wouldn't want to try and have sex with it.

I've also seen the phrase 'translucent alabaster skin' used. If something is translucent , that means you can see through it (alabaster used to be used for windows in Medieval Church's). Which means your lover's skin is so thin you can see the veins with the blood going through them, and probably the individual capillaries as well.

I don't know about you, but I do NOT want to have sex with anyone whose veins I can see through their skin. Feed them a good solid meal, yes. Have sex, no.

oh god alabaster KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!

I only want to see Alabaster used in reference to the actual substance.

Feline grace is so goddamn overused it makes me vomit every time I see it. That goes double for "pantherlike grace" like I once saw in a badfic.

"preternatural" anything.

Anything that involves comparing eyes to gemstones. It is impossible to have eyes like sapphires. You can have dark blue eyes, but I have yet to see anyone with eyes the exact color of sapphires.

Plus, sapphires come in other colors besides blue (rather like alabaster). Saying a person has dark blue eyes or brown eyes or green eyes is perfectly acceptable. Unless the characters eye color is important to the story in some way (for example, having mis-matched eyes), just stick to the basic color spectrum and leave the metaphores to the poets and songwriters.

"Flawless skin" is another I'm sick of. No one's skin should be flawless. I don't mind when the author says "great skin." I don't mind if they say "virtually flawless." BUT FOR FUCKS SAKE EVERY HUMAN HAS SCARS.* And inevitably, it's a human character described this way, not a goddess or someone where it makes sense. I am particularly annoyed by this in fic set in the days of Ye Olde Smallpox. I understand people want a dressed up version of the era, and don't want to hear about their cavities. I'm down with that. But don't tell me something like 'flawless skin.' Or 'perfect, straight, white teeth' unless friggin' everyone is going, "Holy shit! Your teeth!"


*I will again give a pass in certain cases. Test-tube babies fresh out of the artificial womb, those might have flawless skin.

Word which has no place in a story: retroussé. I don't know what it means, I know it's something to do with noses, but I always have the feeling that it's one of those noses that looks as if the person is about to snot you - the nose turns up so that their nostrils are open and visible. And I hate that kind of nose. I'm sorry, but I do. No more charming retroussé noses.

Also, discrete. Most of the time - 99% of the time in fiction - the word the writer is looking for is discreet. Though that's really a grammar peeve.

I second 'preternatural'. It's silly.

And finally 'ghosting' as in 'his hands ghosted over the skin of her back'. I don't know why that one sets my teeth on edge, possibly it's the fact that it's overused in fanfiction, but it does.

Does that prove or disprove my point?

Stephen King NEVER fails! HEEEEEE! [/Crimson King]

I liked Cell. And Lisey's Story. And Under The Dome. And Duma Key. And....aw, all of 'em.

"Bronzed skin" just pisses me off. Partially because I think paler skin is more attractive (though not 'translucent' pale, ew), partially because it makes me think of a person made out of the alloy bronze, which is... not an attactive thought, but mostly because the term makes me think about these jokers:



Goddamn guidos.

"Fop." This one crops up a lot outside of the Phantom of the Opera fandom now, often with steampunk involved. For some reason, though, it really sets my teeth on edge when I see it used to describe someone we're supposed to be rooting for. I read "fop," I think "incredibly vain, not too bright, obsessed with looks and fashion, can't keep a thought in his head." You know, what the word means. It's not a good thing to be.

And on the other hand, "fop" as a pejorative often gets stamped on a character who really isn't one--again, Phantom of the Opera and Raoul du Chagny, who isn't necessarily the sharpest knife in the drawer but definitely has more substance than fancy clothes. Irritates the hell out of me.

"Blazing." Another term that gets used for eyes way, way too much. Technically it's okay, if a little purple, but it seems like everyone and their dog has blazing eyes now.

If my dog had blazing eyes, I might have to call animal control.

(Just... picture it in your head. Your dog, with blazing eyes. )

When they refer to hair as "liquid (insert metal here)". Why can't a character just be blond or brunette? Also, why do they need to refer to it as liquid? Unless hair is really greasy, it never seems to be particularly liquid-like.

Also, this isn't really purple, but I hate the phrase "curves in all the right places".

I know it's a stylistic point, but I hate 'bored of'. 'Bored with' sounds better to me, partly because I'm an old fogey, and British to boot, and 'with' is what I'm used to hearing.

A story being described as "based off of {inspiration source}" really sets my teeth on edge. Something sits on a base, not off it, so "based off of" makes no sense to me. (I'll leave aside the awfulness that is "off of".)

Well I like a roller coaster with curves in all the right places. Also drops and loops.

In all the right places.