Holy fuck. No amount of Internets can prepare you for something like this. I've seen Pokeporn before, but this is just.. wow. I'm going to go drink heavily now.

Welcome to Why God Why. I think there's a little bleach left in the janitor's closet. Just move the coat rack out of the Muffled Weeping Corner.

Wait, there's still bleach left? I though I took the last of it...

There is no bleach strong enough to cleanse internet taint. (Heh, taint)

This is only slightly worse than the Arnold Schwarzenegger and Hulk Hogan fanfics my friend used to write. The content was similar to this fic, but often included such lovable characters as Dick Cheney and the pope.

I. The. What. WHAT.

I didn't even watch Pokémon and HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Clearly I still have much to learn in the realms of badfic.

Lord and Lady, help us all.

Oh. My. God.

This is the most disgusting thing I have ever read. The thing that got me most was the death scene... then he (she?) decides to screw with Misty at the end

Is there any brain bleach left?

I laughed.

Then I cried.

Then I laughed some more.

Then I locked myself in a room with no computer so I could never read something like this again. For my own safety and sanity.

Telepathy.

What possesses people to write crap like this? Do they just wake up one morning and go, "You know, I feel like writing a fucked up piece of shit fan fic that will make people want to gouge their eyes out."?

Necro's, getting necro'd.

You know what the most horrifying part of it all is?

Not the author; he [i]KNOWS[/i] how bad it is, publicly denounces it, in fact, with much scathing snark. It's the fact that readers out there wouldn't leave him alone until he did write it.

Not bad enough that people think up this kind of stuff. But to browbeat a writer until he takes putrid notions like that and fleshes them out because [i]THE READER CAN'T IMAGINE IT FOR HIMSELF??[/i]

Please. Such things are best kept in the privacy of one's skull. The writer should have published the names of those people who hounded him for this. I want to publicly humiliate them.

Fun story: I had a girl in my room, and showed her this fic because she wasn't offended enough by anything else I'd showed her. End result: she jumped me and I got head out of it. I'm still not sure whether I should be happy about that.

Depends. Were you wearing a Pokemon fursuit?