Don't forget the Snark Bat!

From Silent Hill: Scarlet Memories.

Quote:

We were heading to Florida to get my aunt, and my father must have taken a short cut, or he thought. Shortly after I woke we crashed from this odd fog on the road. It was so bazaar though,

Well if it really was you would think there would be a place to buy a weapon.

From a Titanic fic set during World War I:

Quote:

"You can't go, Jack. I don't want to wind up a window."

World War I was horrific, but...I'm reasonably certain that no woman wound up a window. There were plenty of widows, but becoming a window was a bit more unlikely.

How about My Inner Life, where Jenna and Link fall back "painting" after they have sex?

Not exactly a misspelling, but rather a really poorly written sentence:

Quote:

Lulu, having witnessed the murder of a culinary television star, decides to enter a cooking competition in order to try and uncover who the killer is, while Stephanie helps Ranger investigate a series of break-ins and things start to heat up between them, despite her relationship with officer Joe Morelli's objections.

Boldly mine. Stephanie Plum has a relationship with her boyfriend's objections?

(By the way, this is from the description of the novel Finger Lickin' Fifteen as presented on the Titlewave website).

From the same fic:

Quote:

His body was covered in a light sheath of sweat

Yeah, literally sweating your own body suit is not normal or healthy. Please see a doctor.

Quote:

A ray of sunshine illuminated him, making him look anglican.

The sunlight made him look like a member of the English church?

Backstreet Boys fanfiction where Nick had a row with Kevin.

Quote:

Nick slammed the front door angrily and kicked off his sneakers. He ran upstairs to his bedroom. He took off his sweater and hurled it at the wall. Then he threw his shit onto the bed.

The context says 'shirt', but, oh, the mental image!

Harry Potter summary that has the loveliest misspelling of 'destiny', I've ever seen.

Quote:

Harry has finished his first year at Hogwarts. He's learned some magic, he's made some friends and now he's at last learning the dark secret of his density.

Slightly off topic, when subtitles are added live there are bound to be some errors. I was once watching Sky Sports where presenter Richard Keys was interviewing soccer manager Gordon Strachan. They were discussing soccer player Craig Bellamy, who had been substituted in a match and had stormed off the pitch and down the tunnel to the locker room with all the panache of a spoiled two-year-old.

Interview went like this:-

Keys: When you were Bellamy's manager, did you ever have to substitute him?

Strachan: Yes, I did.

Keys: Did you get a big reaction?

Strachan: Yes. He's a very passionate player.

Subtitles substituted 'erection' for 'reaction. Changes the whole tenor of the conversation.

From a Titanic fanfic set in the 1920's:

Quote:

Rose decided she needed more rogue on her knees.

Guess those rogues in the 1920s were pretty small and lightweight, if a woman could balance more than one on her knees.

Someone drew a picture of a guy with a giant penis in one of the English books. Under it, someone wrote:

Quote:

U NEED A CONDOR

Never underestimate the entertainment value of taggers who can't spell.

I ran across this one today:

Quote:

Two dogs were humphing in the street.

I wonder how a dog humphs. Usually they just bark, growl, and whine.

One of the boys at the school I work for is trying to write a romance novel. Here is a line that I had to work very hard at not laughing at.

Quote:

The site of her heving beasts made him want to humph her.

From an otherwise excellent Earth's Children fic:

Quote:

He passed his spear down their line and asked them to step forward to where he had tied a dear killed that morning to a tree.

Bolding mine. If it was so dear, why was it killed?

From a review of the same story:

Quote:

I swear, your writing is sending me through the gamete of emotions !!

A gamete (from Ancient Greek γαμέτης gametes "husband" / γαμετή gamete "wife") is a cell that fuses with another cell during fertilization (conception) in organisms that reproduce sexually. (from Wikipedia)

Scientists would like to study this reviewer, because never before have gametes been produced by fanfic (released, yes, at least with males, but produced? Not so much.)

From a Kannazuki no Miko fanfiction I read:

Quote:

Her kiss although it was forceful, wasn't viscous but compassionate

I thought I wouldn't find all that many fanfics, much less badfics for Kannazuki no Miko. I was wrong.