Morgellons disease. Have you heard of it? If you have, you're much more likely to come down with it. It's one to file away under "made up internet diseases".

First of all, the symptoms. In the interests of fairness, I shall take these from the Morgellons Research Foundation site. After all, they're the experts on this. I'll save the best one for last.

Quote:

2. Movement sensations, both beneath and on the skin surface. Sensations are often described by the patient as intermittently moving, stinging or biting. Involved areas can include any skin region (such as over limbs or trunk), but may be limited to the scalp, nasal passages, ear canals, or face...and curiously, legs below the knees. 3. Skin lesions, both (a) spontaneously appearing and (b) self-generated, often with pain or intense itching. The former (a) may initially appear as “hive-like”, or as “pimple-like” with or without a white center. The latter (b) appear as linear or “picking” excoriations. Even when not self-generated (as in unreachable regions of babies’ skin), lesions often progress to open wounds that heal incompletely (e.g., heal very slowly with discolored epidermis or seal over with a thick gelatinous outer layer.). Evidence of lesions persists visually for years.

Sounds rather a lot like delusional parasitosis right there.

Quote:

4. Musculoskeletal Effects and Pain is usually present, manifest in several ways. Pain distribution is broad, and can include joint(s), muscles, tendons and connective tissue. Both vascular and “pressure” headaches and vertebral pain are particularly common, the latter usually with premature (e.g., age 20) signs of degeneration of both discs and vertebrae. 5. Aerobic limitation is universal and significant enough to interfere with the activities of daily living. Most patients meet the Fukuda Criteria for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome as well (Fukuda, Ann. Int. Med., 1994). Cardiology data and consistently elevated heart rates suggest a persistent myocarditis creating lowered cardiac output that has been partially compensated for by Starling’s Law. 6. Cognitive dysfunction, includes frontal lobe processing signs interfering with logical thinking as well as short-term memory and attention deficit. All are measurable by Standard Psychometric Test batteries. 7. Emotional effects are present in most patients. Character typically includes loss or limitation of boundary control (as in bipolar illness) and intermittent obsessional state. Degree varies greatly from virtually absent to seriously life altering.

This bit sounds like Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, another contested condition. Let's mention that bit no further and get on to my favourite part of Morgellons.

You know how you need a differential diagnosis? That one special symptom that differentiates one disease from another? This is the one for Morgellons.

Quote:

1. “Filaments” are reported in and on skin lesions and at times extruding from intact-appearing skin. White, blue, red, and black are common among described fiber colors. Size is near microscopic, and good clinical visualization requires 10-30 X. Patients frequently describe ultraviolet light generated fluorescence. They also report black or white granules, similar in size and shape to sand grains, on or in their skin or on clothing. Most clinicians willing to invest in a simple hand held commercial microscope have thus far been able to consistently document the filaments.

That's right. Fibres in patriotic colours. And they're coming out of your skin. Definitely not coming from your clothing, of course not.

The Morgellons community has its fair share of cranks, which comes with the territory when one is allegedly suffering from a disease that has no scientific basis whatsoever. Here's some highlights from the comments on this sceptical blogpost.

Quote:

I'll tell you my story and I'll try to keep it brief. 9 years ago I discovered a "wart" on my penis. I had that once before when I was younger and thought no big deal I'll just go have it removed. Went to Kaiser and was told it was fungal. Creams lotions and potions didn't work. They did a biopsy which was negative and then told me I had "pearly papules" which I researched and determined that not to be the case. I pretty much tried not to let it bother me. I used a condom whenever I was with my wife. One day about 3 months ago I soaked a piece of tissue in hydrogen peroxide and applied it to the "wart"... what sprang out shocked me... a tangled mass of fibrous material. I got a magnifier and looked closer. Now, at any time I choose, I can take a clean piece of tissue soaked in hydrogen peroxide and apply it to the lesion, and produce these blue (occasionally red) fibers. I have questioned myself if they could be environmental so I have done this test repeatedly buck naked fresh out of the shower using a white towel to dry myself and I still get blue fibers from in and around the lesion. Now for the freakish part. I also started the "Budwig Protocol" which is a cancer treatment and seems to be helping. It also has been driving all kinds of strange materials out of my body... solid translucent crystals, orangish fluid, and fibers, lots of blue fibers. When I first began the amount of fibers was amazing, hundreds if not thousands, but now down to a trickle, only a few and they are smaller and more broken up. Here's the thing... now that we are separated and soon to be divorced, I am concerned that any future partner I might have will be repulsed when I tell them of my "condition". I am the type of person that would not feel comfortable hiding this information from a potential mate. I have been back to my doctor but he is not convinced I am playing with a full deck. I'm worried and pissed off and frustrated and it really bothers me when I here people trying to debunk something they know nothing about.

Now I'm not sure what is more of a turn-off here. Genital warts, or the insistence that colourful fibres are coming out of it.

Quote:

Actually the more I read over what you are doing, I implore your readers to take a look at your pictures and see the real losers. You are spreading a bunch of lies. You are part of what is destroying our civilization. You seem to get a real thrill out of making fun of other peoples suffering. You may or may not be delusional, but you are very sick human beings.

Not believing in magical fibrous lesions is apparently the delusion here. Makes perfect sense in... umm... no, can't think of anywhere that statement makes sense.

And of course some folks think the "condition" has an alien origin.

The funny thing is, the psychiatric diagnosis is not a big insult. Psychiatric conditions are still real. And one would sound a hell of a lot saner saying one had mental health problems as opposed to fibrous aliens living under your skin.

I love all that ridiculous technobabble (and the explanations in parenthesis) in that last link, hahahaha.

I bet it's the Furlings.

At least this is more believable than metalosis? [You must be registered and logged in to see this image.] Though that had the advantage of being a joke from the start.

some jackholes think it's caused by chemtrails.

(Is totally going to Hell...I take comfort in that I will be in good company.)

Have they ever thought of getting together and knitting sweaters?