It's that time again, everyone! As the radio stations switch to 24-hour holiday music, and as the stores go wall-to-wall with the 9,540th recording of "Jingle Bell Rock", post what holiday music is more likely to make you turn into an utter Grinch.

For me it's:

The Christmas Shoes - For a relatively recent Christmas song, this one gets under my skin like no other. It's beyond glurge...it's like glurge doused in strawberry syrup and then rolled in raw sugar before it's shoved down your throat.

Little Saint Nick (Hanson cover only) - No. Just no. Hanson, you are NOT the Beach Boys. The Beach Boys made it work. You made it into a trainwreck.

That Slade one. The one where he goes IIIIIIIIIIIT'S CHIIIIRSTMAS! Makes me want to stab.

I hate Christmas carols in general, especially The Christmas Shoes (mostly because the message of the song makes me retch). The only traditional one I can stand is the Carol of the Bells.

... Ikea in Stockholm starts spitting Christmas songs through their speakers in September. Yeah. Makes you wanna stab something.

There are only a few Christmas songs I like - most of it just sounds like any old generic schlock with some extra seasonal words tacked on here and there - like a lyrical equivalent of Pin The Tail On The Donkey.

ZoZo wrote:

That Slade one. The one where he goes IIIIIIIIIIIT'S CHIIIIRSTMAS! Makes me want to stab.

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Why yes, I am a bastard, thank you for noticing.

Only Christmas Carol I can stand?

Spoiler:
	(& it fits the thread title, too.)

Surprisingly, the stores around here have been amazingly free of Christmas glurg. Up till yesterday, when I was out at Wal-Mart. Apparently, it was Beatles solo career and Live Aid Day, as I spent two hours being subjected to repeated playings of Paul McCartney's 'Simply Having a Wonderful Christmas Time," John and Yoko's "So This is Christmas (War is Over If You Want it), and various offerings from the innumerable Life Aid Christmas albums. By the time I made it up to the check-out, I was ready to do violence against the first person who wished me Happy Holidays.

Also, I agree with Spotts. Nobody but the Beach Boys are allowed to play 'Little Saint Nick.'

Eight years working at a K-Mart didn't completely kill Christmas and Christmas music for me, but it came pretty damn close. I admit, for a few weeks, Christmas songs are a nice change from the crap that's normally played on the radio. But it just drags on too long--the worst was the year that, instead of stopping the Christmas music after New Years, they played it halfway through fucking January.

Nthing "Christmas Shoes". Also throwing into the fire Beyonce Knowles horrible mangling of "Twelve Days of Christmas", where it was rewritten to make it the ode of a shallow, materialistic bitch.

*rolls up sleeves* Alright, time to post some antidotes:

Spoiler:

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As far as annoying Xmas music goes, I have nothing clever to add except that I've always thought "kissing Santa Claus" was a euphemism of some sort.

ETA: Because it's a holiday tradition:
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On the Chanukah end of things, I fucking loathe the Dreidel Song, mostly because it was always the token Chanukah song in the school holiday concert when I was a little kid.

Rabid Badger wrote:

Also, I agree with Spotts. Nobody but the Beach Boys are allowed to play 'Little Saint Nick.'

I'm rather partial to the cover the Muppets did, but that may be the nostalgia talking.

Okay, how come my spellcheck recognizes "Chanukah's," but not "Chanukah?" It's not like the possessive is widely used.

Don't. Fucking. Get. Me. Started.

Ahem.

It should be noted that the term "carol" refers to only traditional Christmas songs like "O Holy Night" and "O Little Town of Bethlehem", not modern secular Christmas songs.

Carry on.

I hate "Sleigh Ride"... probably because I suck at playing it on the clarinet.

Holiday ClusterF*ck!!

Spoiler:

Nostalgia Chick's Top 10 Disturbing and Inescapable Christmas Songs

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Antidote: The Twelve Days of Christmas, Irish Style, by Frank Kelly:

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I'M A BROKEN MAN!

Slade's song, along with Chris Rhea's Home for Christmas, are the only two I can stand to hear more than once.

The rest make me want to stab someone. And that is without having ever been subjected to Christmas Shoes, for which I am very, very thankful.

Jingle Bells. Fucking Jingle Bells.

Most other songs I can live with.

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grmblfjx wrote:

Jingle Bells. Fucking Jingle Bells. Most other songs I can live with.

This is just for you, my darling Grmbl:

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Me, I don't mind Christmas-songs too much, but, besides my general lack of taste, this might also have to do with the fact that we're not pelted to death with all kinds of horrible carols as soon as the 1st of November rolls around.
My tolerance exempts Last Christmas, by the way.

Wah! Basshunter! That dude needs to either stop making music or go die in a fire.

He has had quite enough Swedish media attention to last him a lifetime, thank you very much. Everything he churns out is mediocre crap at best, ear-burning shit at worst, and he is so arrogant at any time he turns up in the papers or on TV that it makes me want to slap him.

I mean, he even used the good old "They're just jealous!" excuse when dismissing his critics in the last interview I came across.

... and that is officially one of the worst versions of Jingle Bells I've ever come across.

/rant.