Root Admin
Administrator
Join date: 2009-06-03
Age: 23
Location: You can't piss on hospitality.
 |  Subject: Jesus is back, to kick some ass! Thu Nov 12, 2009 1:57 pm | |
| Commando Jesus. --Coming soon in theaters Summer 2010--- Starring Sylvester Stallone in the role of a lifetime!  [epic movie voice]: In a world ravaged by satan- one man stands up to fight. | Quote: | | It's hundreds of years in the future, and humanity is fighting its final war, Armagaeddon! Satan has unleashed his unholy army upon the earth, and the scattered remainants of mankind band together to fight this nightmarish threat. |
[epic movie voice]: With Academy Award-winning performances by arbitrary soldiers-
| Quote: | | "I'm all out of bullets," said John, an arbitrary soldier. |
[epic movie voice]: and featuring Roman Polanski as The Man himself-
| Quote: | | "That's COMMANDO JESUS to you, Billy. And no one's fucking you today except ME, after we win the battle. I want to feel my hot cock blow a load in your ass so bad." |
Critics praised this film, and it received a standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival.
| The LA Times wrote: | | Ye are a genius among men. |
| The Miami Herald wrote: | well...i like the first chapter...short but not emotionally scarring, unlike chapter 2...i had some problems understanding why Jesus would...do those kinds of..."things" to those MEN...but i guess...whatever floats Jesus' boat...right? WRONG. i feel even more like a sinner for reading this. im not trying to flame, i am not trying to flame...just statin my opinion is all. Jesus was nice to help those men in chapter 2...but again...im scarred for life.
your scarred for life reader,
-MM- |
| Roger Ebert wrote: |
Go jez0rz in all his glory!! that freaking rocked! bout time jesus became a little more manly unless of course whilst all this was happening jesus was still wearing nis robe thing and sandals. XD XD |
Gear up for the biggest Summer Blockbuster since Megan Fox and the Giant Robots! |
|
frostflowers
Sporkbender
Join date: 2009-10-20
Location: The comics bunker
| | Subject: Re: Jesus is back, to kick some ass! Thu Nov 12, 2009 4:42 pm | |
| Aw, I remember this! It's beautiful, in all it's cracky glory. | Quote: | "I was just kidding about that, Billy," said Jesus. "Jesus doesn't
swing that way. But that reminds me... there is something that Jesus
would like to experience... POONTANG..." |
This is quite possibly my favourite line, if only because of the last word. Whenever I try to imagine Jesus saying this, I break down in giggles. |
|
