I was bouncing around the AFF.net video game archives looking for something to snark and came across a summary that sounded painfully familiar, involving the Mushroom Kingdom princesses being trapped in and molested by a slime bath. I followed the link back to the author's profile and heaved a sigh for the purpose of the thread introduction--I had found my way back to the work of TBoneTony, bizarre vore sub-fetishist extraordinaire.

As he describes, and as I originally found him, "I was on fanfiction.net during the later months of 2005 but my account was terminated twice." This termination is a curious matter, but if I had to hazard a guess, it would be because he almost exclusively writes stories about girls dying erotically in various pits of goo or the esophagi of large animals. The Pit moderators are fascists like that.

He has over thirty fics, all of which are prime snark material, and a handful of which were showcased on the first orange boards. While he does seem to have some other kinks, his main fetish is vore, which has spawned an odd sub-fetish of girls sinking into quicksand.

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Misty sobbed with a grim face to display to Ash's horror. ''I can't move either Ash, my arms are buried too deep and my whole body is week from Orgasms. I think we're stuck here Ash'' she gasped. Ash tried to franticly move but the quicksand griped his body like stone against Misty's. She was right and the only good it done was to suck them in deeper and the muck creped up their necks. It was useless, Ash could not break the sand's grip on their bodies. He knew they were doomed. ''Misty, I have one thing to say, I love you, no matter how you got us in this mess, if we are to die, I rather die with you like this. Naked in quicksand.'' Ash sobbed out every word with every strain of his breath. ''I love you too Ash.'' Misty sobbed too breathing heavy. ''I never intended to kill us both like this but, you and me, both helplessly trapped in quicksand yet I'm so happy.''

While quicksand is his favorite form of goo, he's also fond of sentient slime, as the epic fic summarized earlier suggests:

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Daisy moved her thighs over Peach’s to further and forcefully open Peach’s thighs against hers. Peach felt more slime from below her forcing its way deep inside her. She gasped and her head leaned back as she felt more and more thick slime penetrate inside her. “NO…UGH…AUGH…AAAUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHH!” Peach screamed and screamed as she clenched her eyes and pleasure took over her body in one intense and massive orgasm caused by the power of the slime. Peach felt her energy quickly dissolving within the slime that holds her. She thrashed and turned and struggled to break free but it seemed that the more she tried to break her way out, the more the slime was breaking her. “UGH…UGH…UUUGGGHHHH” Peach screamed once again. Peach felt the powers of the slime were crushing her from every side of the slime walls closing in on her. “UGH…UGH…UUUUGGGGHHHHH.” Peach’s orgasm continued to hit her, drain all the fight from within her as the slime women and Daisy continued to seduce her more and more into the hypnotic powers of the slime. Peach opened her eyes as her as her climax ended, steam was everywhere around her head as the walls of slime were dripping slime all over her face. The top was concealed by the slime trapping all the air and steam inside a giant ball of slime with an air bubble made for Peach and Daisy to breathe in. The slime wanted its victims to stay alive for a mysterious reason. The reason was to make sure both princesses within its slimy body to be kept alive so they would be sacrificed later on.

And, of course, there's the traditional vore:

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I woke up and was taken by surprise as I saw a long tail of scales starting from my legs and ending on my bedroom floor. I looked back at my legs and found a mouth that opened and closed it’s upper jaw just above my knee caps. The pain shot through my body as I screamed. “AGH, what is happening?” I shouted. Then as I looked closer at the jaws, I saw two eyes glowing dark yellow back at me. Then I realised what was happening. “Oh my goddess, I’m being eaten by a snake!” I gasped as the words snake escaped my lips.

Ah, poetry in motion. Swallowing motion, to be precise.

While the standard players in TBoneTony's passion plays are the lovely ladies of Nintendo--Peach, Daisy, Samus, Zelda, Misty, and so on--the piece I choose to welcome him back into our sticky arms with is an original story. Join me, won't you, for a tender tribute in which a young woman deals with her sadness for 9/11 by...er, dying in quicksand and having a million orgasms and junk: When I'm gone.

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Plus I also hope this dose not offend anybody who had lost loved ones on that day 5 years ago. This is just a story about a girl committing suicide 5 years after her life changed forever.

...and dies in quicksand and has a million orgasms and junk. The sad part is I think he really, honestly would need someone to quietly take him aside and speak calmly and slowly about what's wrong with this picture before he understood why he was being shunned by polite company.

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5 years later and I am all alone in this cold cruel world and back then I was full of money my father backed up for me, now I have nothing in the bank. I have tried to get a job, but I just can’t cope a full time job that I need and still keep up in my studies to get higher qualifications. I have no external family, my mother died from cancer when I was 5 years old and all I had was my father to support me and I went on with my education. Ever since he had died, I had to do all the tax paying and even driving my own car that I had to pay a fortune to just learn from a driving instructor since my father was deceased when I was learning how to drive. I was a slow learner so it cost me heaps of money that should have gone on to more better saving like feeding for myself. But this is all out of my own hands now, I have lost all control over my life, no money, nothing to live for, my job alone can’t pay the bills and the cost of living. That is why I am looking at the quicksand in front of me. Because I am going to drown myself as my life has no meaning anymore. Not since that day when my father was killed on September 11th 2001.

Oh, nameless protagonist, you shall die as you lived--through a series of unlikely events that logically should have been prevented by an adult!

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My feet feel the cool touch of the quicksand as I walk strait into the pit naked. We are all born naked so I though it was best for me to die naked. As I stop walking, I start to feel that sinking feeling that we feel as we start to sink into quicksand.

You see, she is sinking metaphorically as well as literally. It is a clever use of wordplay to underline the tragedy of the poor gel's fate. ...well, either that, or he looked under the "sensation of being pulled into quicksand" section of the thesaurus and found it sorely lacking.

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All of those people who do such terrible things in the name of their religion, first I thought it was just a group of crazy people but as I look at my own country and see my people speak like god has chosen them as the righteous people then it just makes me sick to call myself one of them because what we do is just as horrible as those other people who murdered my father.

This is deep political commentary, gentlemen. Almost as deep AS THE QUICKSAND YOU SEE IT IS SO METAPHORICAL EVEN A LAYMAN SUCH AS MYSELF CAN DO IT

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As the quicksand reaches me thighs, I started to feel a soft and swelling feeling inside my womanhood, plus I feel myself start to her as wet as this muddy quicksand that is slowly consuming me “OH…oh my!” I gasp as I felt the quicksand slide itself deep inside me.

Welp, enough of that political crap, time for some mud-lovin'.

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I start to let the quicksand take control of me, this feeling is just so unreal. I had not yet understood what the quicksand was doing to me. It took me by surprise to realise the touch of the quicksand is not as bad as it is often portrayed in the movies. Perhaps it was because that I had chosen to commit suicide in here. That I did not care about death, I just wanted to die in the most painless way possible.

Because having your chest cavity crushed by thousands of pounds of pressure is soooo much gentler than a bottle of reds on a vodka belly.

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I tried to stab my heart, cut my wrists, starve myself and even tried to hang myself in my room but I always chickened out. I could never allow doing such a thing to myself. So I want something to do it for me, something that I would just need to stand still, not move at all and let something do it for me.

You mean like stepping out into traffic?

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That inanimate thing was quicksand.

Oh, of course. Pardon me.

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Suddenly I realise that the quicksand is doing something more than just killing me. Was it raping me?

In Nameless Protagonist v. Quicksand, the court ruled that no, it was just trying to find its contacts.

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“Ugh…ugh…ugh…ugh…” I gasp as I feel the quicksand grasp my breasts, my eyes open wide as I watch the quicksand rise over my nipples that are getting ever more harder and harder. My teats stick out from my breasts as they get coated into the earth. “Ugh…ugh…ugh…ugh…” Suddenly I feel the quicksand slowly crush my body after my breasts are sucked down. Oh it’s so hard to breathe that I lean my head up and close my eyes as the quicksand embraced me and was giving me and snake like hug. A constriction feeling that is so hard to break away from as my arms are stuck trapped to the sides of my body as I was rubbing inside my womanhood. The quicksand closes in around my shoulders as ground breaking orgasmic waves of pleasure builds up within my body. “UGH…UGH…UGH…UGH…UUUUGGGGGHHHHHHH” I scream.

Hey, this is quicksand, not a tar pit! Knock it off with the caveman noises! ...oh hell, I just gave him ideas, didn't I...

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“Ugh…ugh…ugh…” I moan as I take my last gasps of air and as the quicksand covers my mouth, my eyes flutter open. Then as I saw the trees and sky disappear around me, the quicksand sucks me under and now I am trapped in darkness. I sleep in the fatal embrace of the quicksand. And as the quicksand crushes my naked body all around me, my life flashes before my eyes. (Flashback)

Jeez, I didn't know near-death experiences were so literal.

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My father kisses me on my cheeks and says to me that I am growing into a beautiful girl. I smile as I hug him tightly. He likes it as I do that as he says that I remind him of mom when she used to be alive. It was tough for him and me when my mother passed away, I cried all night that night when she died from cancer but my father said to me that we all die and who ever is left must continue on with their lives. Plus the important thing my father used to tell me is to think of the happy times that we shared with mom and that made me feel better inside my heart. He said a poem that he found written by a musician that went… “When I’m gone just carry on, don’t mourn. Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. And know that I will be looking down and smiling. I don’t feel a thing so baby don’t feel the pain and smile back.”

"Later, I learned he lied. Eminem didn't write poetry, and he wasn't a musician, either. The deception drove us apart, and I turned to meth."

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I am at my middle school at year 10 level. Next year will be my first year of high school and I have got back the results of my classes so far. I look at them and decide what classes I will chose for next year. I also got back a note from my work experience I did for my local newsagency from last week. The employer said I will be highly be suitable for a job in the future as I am reliable and listen to what I am being told. Plus I got some credit for multitasking for vacuuming the floor and organising the magazines into place. Most of the time in my spare time there I look at the videogame mags and have a look at the up and coming consoles like the XBox and Gamecube from the companies like Microsoft and Nintendo. I would love to get an XBox but I can’t because of money issues and already I want the Gamecube as Nintendo have made the games I loved to play. I was looking through the previews of the games on offer for the Gamecube and already I look forward to Super Smash Bros Melee and some games from RARE like Starfox Adventures, Donkey Kong Racing and even Kameo: Elements of Power. There are some great RPG games I want like on the new Gameboy Advance like Golden Sun and there is one called Fire Emblem I can’t wait to play. After having so many RPG’s in Japan but very little come out to where I live and nothing on the N64, I had become eager to experience what I have been missing out on for so long. Legend of Zelda and the Pokemon RPG games have so far been my only experience in the RPG adventure genre and after the success of Final Fantasy 7 on the PlayStation, I just want to experience some great RPG’s. While many people in my class were talking about the tennis as an Australian called Latin Hewitt has won the America’s cup, I did not care much for tennis, I just wanted to play videogames. To play football (soccer) at a high level is only something for the boys and a girl like me who loves to play footy dose not have a chance to play with the boys. So that is why I love to play videogames as it dose not matter if I’m a boy or a girl, I can still play on a videogame and have fun. There is another game called Sega Soccer Slam that I have heard about and it’s fantasy soccer where not only male characters but also female characters can play too.

Reader: Uh...weren't we in the middle of a fetish snuff scene?
TBoneTony: I LIEK VIYYO GHAYUMS *HUAAAAAH*
Reader: oh God stop mouthbreathing at me

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“Hello princess…I’m…it seems there is a problem on the plane.” I hear his voice is calm but there is shouting in the background. I can’t understand the voices as they are from another language. “It seems that I may not be able to be coming back so I just want you to know that I love you sweetie. Take care of your self and remember the good times we had.” “Dad!” I yell on the phone. “What is happening? Are you going to be ok?” “I’m afraid not but no matter what happens just don’t let anything stand in your way for what you want to do in life, you are my little girl and even if I can’t be here to see you grow up and marry, just know that…” I start to cry…as I hear his final words. “When I’m gone just carry on, don’t mourn. Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice. And know that I will be looking down on you and smile. I don’t feel a thing so baby do feel the pain, just smile back.”

Nameless Protagonist: Gawd, daddy, can't you at least go out on lyrics that won't be embarrassing in four years?

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I break down crying as I thought the worst had happened and then my principal called everyone to the hallway and on the TV screen I see a news report live in New York City. One of the planes had run into the north Tower of the World Trade Centre. I watch the events unfold in horror and disbelief realising that this is all live and happening to real people before my eyes. Seconds latter another plane crashes into the South Tower of the World Trade Centre. Now both Twin Towers had been attacked as I see people trapped in the upper floors start to jump to escape the fire and my watch hopelessly as they jump to their deaths. As the fire trucks arrive to rescue those trapped, I watch in horror as many people die in front of my eyes as the towers collapse. My heart stops for my classmates who I know have parents who work there in those towers. Many of them cry as I cry too. Then I realise what my father was talking about. He was on one of those planes, not just the ones that crashed in the World Trade Centre but also he could have been on one that had either crashed into the Pentagon or even crashed in Pennsylvania. I finally realise that my father was dead. (End flashback)

Yes...it was truly a sad and sobering day, a heartbreaking event that would forever--

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Suddenly I wake up and I realise that I am inside an air bubble that is trapped under the quicksand. The air bubble is around my head to my chest. I sigh as I though that my death will take longer than I thought. As I watch the air that surrounds me in this bubble slowly shrinks, I think about my life…have I made the most of it? Maybe not…but something inside my still wants to live but how can I? I have already sunk under the quicksand and now my face is inside an air bubble keeping me alive just to look at the walls of mud around me. Suddenly I feel my hands inside my womanhood move once again. My heart beats faster and faster. I feel once again the quicksand touching every part of my naked body within this quicksand.

NEVER MIND WE'RE HAVING MUD SEX AGAIN

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feel the quicksand move around my chest, touching be nipples on my breasts and I feel so good, so happy. Then I gasp as I realise that I just don’t want to die, not now, not yet. As I watch the walls of mud close in on me, I realise what a fool I was. I should not throw away my life like this. I should make the most of my life while I am still alive. I desperately tried to push my arms up but the quicksand holds my arms besides my body, I can feel the quicksand crushing me. “UGH…can’t…move…ugh…” I struggle against the quicksand around me. I feel the mud pour over my hair and face as it closes in on me. “Ugh…” I moan. I try to break my arms out of the mud around me but it’s not use…I’m going to die here.

Because, y'know, the higher the hopes, the sexier it is when they're brutally crushed. God, this is just...embarrassing for all parties involved, I must say.

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I realise in the end that it was my fault that I died here. I should have realised before that there was something more to my life then to just die like this. But as I start to feel the quicksand start to touch me again, I then realise what I had accomplished. I had chosen to die the way I wanted. I know it was crazy to think like that but I had tried to live my life and lost everything, but now I feel at peace. With the mud walls slowly penetrating the air bubble, I feel like I’m in heaven, in my own little world where I can just close my eyes and breathe as the quicksand makes love to me. Love…to be embraced naked in quicksand like this, is something I have not felt for a long time, not since that morning my father last left my house on the day he died.

...I am really, REALLY hoping that came out wrong.

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I feel the quicksand’s embrace around my body as it hugs me. “Ugh…ugh…ugh…” I moan. My heart beets faster as I feel myself sink more and more inside the bubble of air. I don’t have much time but I close my eyes in ecstasy as I make love with the quicksand. I feel it rub inside me as I rub my hands around my womanhood. “UGH…UGH…UGH…UGH…” I moan louder as the quicksand walls start to collapse. I’m so close to happiness that I am willing to face my death head on.

Your father felt like he was being molested by a ton of semi-liquid sand? What the hell kind of drugs was he ON?

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I now know how my father felt as his plane was about to crash. He was not screaming, he was thinking about me, realising that he would never see me again. I think about all my friends who I will leave behind and I will miss this quicksand here.

Nameless Protagonist: DON'T FORGET ABOUT ME, QUICKSAND! I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!
Quicksand: AND I YOU, GIRL WHO I AM KILLING :<
It's like E.T. all over again, for srs

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My mouth becomes full as the quicksand crushes me…darkness is all I see as my body continues to shake…rattle and roll into a tube that stands up straight amongst the quicksand earth.

Because a true fan of both vore and Nintendo can't resist the ref. Either that or it's just in terribly poor taste, but what are the odds of that, really?

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The air in my body gets crushed. My breasts are pushed into my chest and my arms become stiff as I am crushed again and again by the muddy body of the quicksand. Then suddenly, I breathe for the last time. The air escapes my lungs and mud flows down my lungs. As my body shakes the last of my thunderous orgasm out…I become stiff and limp. I barely move as the quicksand finishes off its fatal embrace on my body. I enjoy my last moments of touch until my mind shuts down and I stay silent. This is what death feels like, no angels, no heaven, but I feel free for I will suffer no more pain, no more disappointment, my life goes away from my body as I soul joins the quicksand. And even though I am gone…I feel happy.

Nameless Protagonist: I feel...g...o...o...d...

Have at it, Nomads. I...I think I need a shower, I feel all gritty for some reason. ...and in places you wouldn't BELIEVE.

_________________

Darren MacLennan, while reviewing FATAL, wrote:

That quiet chomping noise you're hearing is the noise that my backbrain makes while it's eating my forebrain, out of rebellion at having to do this.

I'm the sulky Jacob to Inkweaver's Bella. Rawr!

On vacation, back on the 13th. May check in periodically on hotel WiFi, but I'm not crossing my fingers. Mind the wank while I'm gone.

QUICKSAND DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!

Though admittedly, when Jamie and Adam set out on Mytbusters to prove that it was possible to NOT get stuck in quicksand, and fairly easy to get out of it if you kept your head, suicide and screaming orgasms were not involved (thank God).